Friday, January 28, 2011

One of those days

Ever have one of those days?   One where all your flaws and unaccomplishments are mercilessly haunting you?   Where you're vulnerable to the overwhelming feelings of  inadequacy,  incompetent and failure?   As if you're caught up in a whirlwind of your own mistakes and imperfections?  Thrown, tossed and overturned within the walls of your emotions!  Well, to-day  was precisely that type of day for me.   It's an all too familiar "day" because I'm frequently visited by "them" in this journey to the peak of the mountain of my life.  (There's a peak in everyone's life and to some like myself, I have more then one mountain peak to reach.)
So for a brief moment I allow myself to wallow in this whirlwind.  To be momentarily tortured by these miserable feelings.  Approximately 10-15 minutes of depression and feeling down in the slum.   Long enough to boost my determination level and ignite my defenses to eject myself out of that gutter altogether.  So I launch myself at physical work.  Shoving and pushing furniture around in my living room.  Vacuuming, wiping, washing and rearranging.  Working my fingers to the bone because it sure makes me feel good.   At the same time, I'm going over in my mind what I need to do to get back on track with what I need to accomplish.  Pausing here and there to write things down and everything starts falling into place once again.  I am refreshed and rejuvenated.  Ready to take on the rest of the day come what may. 
Other then that, I can always bury myself deep inside a good book.  One that tickles and make me giggle like a little girl.  One that gives me a good cry.  So many kinds of books that just gives you the required boost to feel good about life and hopeful altogether that eventually everything will work out.   Books that takes you places and makes you want to go places. 
Encountering these down times are inevitable in this journey of life.  I also know that it fuels the fire within me to make things happen.  To stay the course and never give up.  Never ever give up.  To love life with a passion and to live life with a passion.  Not only for myself but for my children and their childrens' children and beyond. 

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