Monday, February 21, 2011

Picture Perfect

Family potraits are always so perfect.  Perfectly beautiful, glossy, flawless and sometimes, perfectly  deceiving.  What you see is not always what you get.  Perhaps in a perfect world, there is a perfectly, perfect family but as we live in an imperfect world, every family has its flaws, secrets and skeletons.  Some are grievous, devastating and impossible to ever get over.  Buried so deep that the only way to move on is throught confession and forgiveness
This past weekend we overcame the biggest obstacle any family can hope to overcome.  In many families, it can either tear them apart, distant and alieanate them from each others.  But, with the grace of a loving God, and so much love for one another, we were able to work towards setting things right and putting aside our pride then taking the steps necessary towards forgiveness. 
Forgiveness heals.  Forgiveness unburdens and forgiveness is love.  It sweetens bitterness and ease regrets.
It's a God-given character bestowed within a mere mortal heart.   It's a cure to a shattered heart and a broken trust.  I love my family.  Both immediate and extended.  Nothing can distant me from them or sabotage the love I have for them. No secret so deep,  skeleton so old and long buried.  I will always love and forgive.  A picture perfect family becomes perfect only when each members learn to love more, serve more and forgive more.   
 

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Leaving the Nest

A forlorn melancholy  feeling tugged at my heart when the reckoning strikes that they are starting to take their leave.  The rush of teenage adrenalin and mischievousness took it's toll making me yearn with welcoming anticipation the day that they will finally leave home.  Fall off the nest already, begone, fly away.  They were driving me wild with endless worry and hair-pulling frustrations. 
The day came but with their leaving though, instead of jumping for joy and cheering their departure, I find an enormous hole in my heart longing to prolong their stay at home.  Making me realize the truth about the only constancy in this life is change.
First with my oldest son Leveni's premature marriage.  Then when Sisilia left for college and with Petueli leaving on his mission.  On all three occasions I bawled secretly and quietly.  Not wanting my husband and the younger kids see me crying like a baby.
A family photo on my refrigerator door is missing two beloved faces.  Oh but I do miss them.  5 out of 7 for Sisilia returned from school.  I stare at the picture knowing with certainty that this is only the beginning of their leaving the nest.    One by one, they will eventually step off and step out.  We will then be right back to square one where it all started.  My beloved and I. 
Never again will I long for that day for it will come soon enough.  For my still-at-home children, I will savor and treasure every moment with them.  Through rain or shine, thick and thin, black and white for I am in no hurry at all for them to leave the nest.   They are welcome to stay as long as they want. 

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I never knew

Overheard on the radio a statement made by the famous Dean Koontz that goes something like, "In our 20s we think we know everything.  In our 30s we know we don't know everything and in our 40s we realize we'll never know everything".  Truly the case in the decades of our lives.  Like butterflies, we leave the cocoon of our youths and embrace adulthood in our 20s.  We zoom into life with such gusto, chip-on-your-shoulder attitude and sometimes overbearing arrogance.   Yes, we know everything about everything and anything.   I am the captain of my ship, pilot of my airplane and master of my destiny. I am in control and no one knows what's best for me but me.
Then 30s dawn on us like a new day.  Almost like an awakening. Where you look back at your 20s and saw a few wrinkles that needs to be ironed out.  That you should have paid more attention after all or listened instead of just hearing.  Mature and wiser as time goes.  Wishing you knew then what you know now and that time is still your friend if you're not too busy to make a needed change. 
REALITY nips you in the butt when you hit your 40s.   It's crystal clear that no matter how hard we try, we will never know everything about everything.  We may not accomplish everything we want to accomplish but we will accomplish something, if not already.  And that "something" is your passion, your true calling and the very purpose of your existence.   Time is still your friend but you realize you're running out.   Like butterflies, we make our niches on the flowers we love most and has the sweetest nectar. 
The Metamorphosis of our lives are incredible and fascinating.  We are refine and define by them. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Infidelity

Home wrecker, heart breaker and  a deserter!!   Infidelity is a cruel cruel monster that devastates families and shatter precious hearts of children caught up in its way.   Just last week, the husband of one of my dearest friend abandoned her and her six children for another woman.  A woman who now, not once, but twice broken up marriages and has children of her own.
Last Sunday I saw one of my friends daughter.  She's about my Mele's age.  We had a program at church and I can't help but notice her eyes had been swollen from crying.  The look of lost and forlorn she carries.  I can only assume its from the freshly separation of a father she adores from her mother whom she loves.
Don't these parents realize that when they break up homes, the ones that suffer the most are the children?  
I recall all the faces of these six children and I couldn't help but cry at what they must be going through.  To have their father abandon them.  Dumps them like they're just pieces of garbage that has no meaning in his life.  To walk out on them for the love of another woman!  The audacity of a mom or a dad to crush the hearts of their own flesh and blood!
I can tolerate a man walking out of his children, but when a woman, a mother, walks out of her children, that I can not comprehend.
I know something about marital problems.  Having been married for 25 years and begetting 7 children, I have an idea of what can tear a husband and wife apart.  But all in all, when they put their own selfish needs behind and focus on the more important part of their lives, their children, they will manage to work things out.  
I think infidelity happens when you loose focus on what's most important in your life.  That it's not all about "you" but the ones you brought into this life.   They are your priority.
So for the cheaters, creepers and shameless fornicators, best beware that "what goes around comes around".  Life has a funny way of avenging the innocent hearts, and homes of families that you've been wrecking, breaking and deserting.