Saturday, June 18, 2011

Money Money Money

The bible says that "the love of money is the root of all evil".  I don't love money but I love what money can do for me.  Money, like time, gets more precious when there's little left of it.  I don't mind living from pay check to pay check but I do mind when we run out way before the next pay check comes in.  It's simply wretched.  Funny how I've always imagine that if I have more money I'll be a happy camper.  Then I see all these famous rich people and their messed up lives and I couldn't imagine what it is about their money that they could be unhappy about. 
The phrase "money talks" speaks for itself.  What it doesn't do is buy happiness.  The lack of it however wreaks unhappiness.  So, there has to be a balance.  For years and years we've struggled financially.  I have adjusted well to having no money, now, I don't just want to adjust, I want to enjoy life and it takes a little money, more then what we have to do that.  Therefore, time is my enemy as well as myself.  Almost over the hill am I and I have the time to attempt trying to make money.  However, I am grateful for everything that we have.  We have been blessed.  Life itself is a blessing and everyday is a gift so, we have to find happiness in the little things that life offers and to pursue the course of making  more money without getting lost in the pursuit.
Money is a convenience.  It can get you many things but can't get you true happiness.  Happiness is a choice. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

PERSISTENT


I was terrified that he would not continue making music.  For him to stop making music would be like taking laughter out of his life.  Fusi is the love of his life but music is the joy of his life.  It's his only outlet in this fast and furious world.  We all need something in our lives that defines us and for my son Leveni, MUSIC defines him.  He is a genious when it comes to making music and I believe he is obscenely talented when it comes to that. 

He's written enough songs for an album and more but many of his songs leaked so he couldn't do the album that he intended to do.  For a period of time he quit making music.  It was a distraction to his marriage.  A few of his songs were posted on YOUTUBE and from that, people complimented, asked, called, seek him out for more music then finally, to my surprise, he calls to let me know he is releasing his very first single.  I felt so much relief because to me Music completes him.  Life without his own music is many things.  Colorless, Boring, Sad, Gloomy and can be downright frustrating because he would have nowhere to release his energy and my son is a very energetic person.  Music soothes and calms him.

Now he's prepping to release something that I've never known or heard of before called "Mixtapes".  I guess it's very popular for artists now-a-days where they take someone else's song and mix it in with their own version.  It's for promotional use only but that's how he wants to start out with his career in music.  I'm just thrilled at the fact that he is making music again for I am his #1 fan for life. 

If Leveni is PERSISTENT enough, his music will succeed.  I've lived long enough to know that without persistent, we'll go nowhere in this life.  He is doing this his own way and in his own style.  I just hope he will never give up MUSIC.  A quote by Isaac Asimov states, "If you have talent, you will receive some measure of success - but only if you persist."  I just hope my son isn't anything like me because I lack this.  It's something I need to work on which will call for a completely different post on a whole new page.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

LETTERS

After weeks of waiting to hear from my son Eld. Toki, we finally received an email.  Every time I receive an email from him, I just want to break down and weep in relief that he's ok and that I have missed him so much.  He asked if we received a handwritten letter from him.  We haven't received any but I'm sure it will come.  I'm thrilled that after 9 months of serving his mission, he finally has the willpower to sit down and write a handwritten letter. 

I love writing letters.  Ever since I was a little girl, correspondence have always been with pen and paper.  Now that the internet is taking over, letter writing has indeed become scarce.  Every chance I have though, I write a handwritten letter to my son who is out there in the boonies of Hilo, HI.  To-day his email was very touching.  He labors diligently as a missionary I am so grateful for him.  He has set a great example for the
rest of my children.  Some of them are already excited to serve a mission.

As time goes, everyone emails.  The fast and easy way to it is very convenient.  Write someone and they'll receive it in 5 seconds.  Who wouldn't want to switch to this?  Yet, there's something about writing a handwritten letter.  A bond with the past and somehow a little more meaningful.  You rush through your emails and then it ends.  With a letter, you take your time and slowly you put your feelings down on paper and while you ponder, other things comes to your mind that you want to include in your letter.

Once in a while I write handwritten letters.  There's one person I need to consistently write to.  One day I will bring myself to do it and that's to my sister in Tonga.  It's been so long since I've written to her. 

Saturday, June 11, 2011

SERENE FRIDAY EVENING

Hubby and son left for Scout camp.  Home with all my little girls as they waterfight outside.  Beautiful sunny day.  Not too hot and not too cold.  I'm in my kitchen cooking.  The usual chicken soup, with potatoes and baking a cake for dessert.  For the life of me, I couldn't remember the last time I felt at peace within my own kitchen.  Like this is where I belong and that cooking and cleaning is my true calling in life.  No one to bother me.  Everyone outside playing and parents resting downstairs and two aunts are in their room doing their own thing.  I have to cook to feed the old beloved folks residing with me and my girls. 

Memories of being a stay-at-home mom warmed me.  Once a long time ago when I was not distracted by the necessity of being a working mother.  When my days were 100% dedicated to the needs of my children and the everyday chores of a stay home mom.  When breakfast was ready on the table every morning and dinner was right on time every evening.  Now, trying to balance my family and work just seems impossible to do.  Not enough time for everything that I need to do.  And not enought energy to do it.

My mind was at peace as I truly enjoy an evening alone, cleaning and cooking in my plain yet warm kitchen.  At the same time, doing the laundry.  So true how a mother's work is never done.  "A father works from sun up to sun down but a mother's work is never done."  I wanted dinner to be ready, so when my children are done playing, they can come hungry and devour every delicious piece of food down to the last crump.  Again, I don't remember the last time I cook dinner awaiting my children to come in and eat.  Lately, it's been cooking and then running off somewhere and have the children come in the kitchen and serving themselves.  I do miss being a stay home mom but a woman's gotta do what a woman's gotta do.  

After dinner, the children walked their friends home and I came for a musical session with Betty Hutton.  She is an amazing singer.  Goodness but I've never seen singing at its best by Betty Hutton.   I need to do this more often.  Life is so busy with so many things to do and places to go.   A little time out for oneself is good for the soul.  So refreshing and rejuvenating.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

AUDITION

Last night we succeeded in getting Sisilia to do an audition video for the new XFACTOR-USA show.  Kicking and screaming of course and it was somehow odd.  I guess I'll never understand exactly what it is she hates about her singing.  She sang Pixie Lott "Cry me Out".   She did great only she could have done so much better had she willingly wanted to.  Well I won't be disappointed.  After all she had told me herself she had never wanted to pursue it in the first place.  So we'll take whatever little she can give. 

Last night, I took my three youngest girls Mele, Pati and Beverly to audition for the upcoming Westfest.  They did so good.  It's their very first audition and I can't help but be amazed at the fact that they actually wanted to audition.  Had they been Sisilia, they would run away so fast as if the devil was at their heels.  Unlike the oldest, these girls try so hard to be as good as her.  Last night was proof of how much they want to make something of their talent.  I realize I have been misplacing my attention.  Sisilia don't need anyone.  My younger girls need me now. 

To-day I was able to upload her singing video onto the XFACTOR site.  Only the audition part and not the introduction part.  I didn't have time so there goes all the trouble I went through to get her to record the video.  I don't even know if they are going to even look at it.  Oh, well one more attempt down the drain so I think for now, we'll just let her be.  Time to move on to better things. 

Sunday, June 5, 2011

I love Sundays

How do I feel about Sundays?  To me it feels like coming home.  Home into the warm embrace of a loving Father.  To bask in His glorious love.  To be edified, inspired and strengthens.  This is why I love Sundays.  For 6 days it feels as if I've been running the marathon of life.  And then and then on the 7th you finally get to take that much needed rest.  To stop, pause and take time to catch my breath.  So tired, weary and longing for spiritual fortification.  Sundays refreshes, strengthens, renews and cleanses me.   It's like leaping into an ocean of "living water".   So cool, so refreshing and so divine.   My everyday sins are washed away, my pride humbled and my heart purified and uplifted spiritually in His grace.

We take time this day to worship and express gratitude to the Almighty.  That He  and only He is the Creator of all things in this world.  That He knows what's best for His children here on earth.  This is why He created Sundays.  So we will always remember Him and never to forget Him.  Every Sunday I go to church, I make sure my children go to church.  They need to build that foundation within them  because in this noisy world of disorderliness and chaos, Sundays can give them peace, reassurance and hope.  If they allow Heavenly Father into their lives.

From Monday to Saturday, I can do everything my heart desires.  Only one day of the week, Sabbath Day, does He asks us to let this be His day.  It's His Holy Day.  Truly thankful for every Sabbath Day.  It's a day of rest and it's a day devoted entirely to God. 

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Patiola Savannah

She is my fifth child and born a month premature.  Patiola was only 5 lbs and as a baby she was very, very attached to me.  At 13 going on 16, she's beautiful, sweet and spikey in her own special way.  Last night we went to my sister-in-law's house to visit Grandma Silia who just returned from the the hospital.  Pati decided she wanted to go and spend the night over there with Sisilia, her sister.  When we got there, 'Eleni was home and didn't need anyone to stay with Grandma so we ended up taking Pati to Fusi's brother's wedding celebration dance.  She had on denim shorts and of course inappropriately dressed for the dance.  She ended up just sitting by us watching people dance.

One of Mahonrai's rugby team players unexpectedly asked her to dance.  Pati shyly got up to dance with him.  The song was Justin Bieber's "Baby, Baby..." something.  Right when they got to the floor, this guy just bust out with some serious dance moves.  He had about 5 friends sitting by us and they all burst out laughing.  I knew exactly how Pati felt.  Here she is trying to keep a low profile because of the way she's dressed and here is this overgrown-like-Mahonrai boy drawing all the attention to them on the dance floor. 

We took out Sione's camera to record the most awkward moment perhaps ever, in our daughter's 13 years of life.  We laughed our butts off because this guy was unstoppable and our poor baby just swayed shyly feeling so darn embarrased.  My husband leaned over to me and said, "She's got your moves".  He thinks I have no moves when it comes to dancing.  This boy kept Patiola on the floor for 2 whole songs.  I saw Pati beckoning Fusi's sister Lavi to come and dance with them.  I just couldn't stop laughing because this guy was hilarious on the dance floor and Pati just didn't know what to do.  After the second song, instead of returning to our corner, she went and sat across the gym far away from the boys. It was one of those kodak moments.  LMBO.  As we returned home she just couldn't believe what had happened at the dance.   

Friday, June 3, 2011

Charlie

I have always been amazed by my father for as long as I can remember.  He was not an educated man but he was a very wise man.  Mechanic by trade, he was overly creative in everything that he did.  Not only handy with automobiles, but everything his hands touches transform into something useful and better.  Charlie was not a lazy man. He was a workaholic.  From morning 'til night he works and works and works.  What I loved best about my father is that and he was fearless when it comes to providing and protecting his children.  Our welfare was his first priority. 

With him being workaholic, it didn't stop him from making sure he has quality time with us children.  I remember movies on the weekends, swimming once or twice a week in the ocean and taking us for rides on his tractors and plows when he is working.  Childhood was exciting, fun and unforgettable.  He cooks, he cleans, he was a nurse when we were sick, he farms, he sings and he was a very happy man.  As a child I felt loved, protected and always happy when he is around.  He was a darn good provider for we never lacked for anything growing up in the island of Tonga.  We had everything.

His health brought him here to America.   Unfortunately, while staying here for medical reasons, my mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer followed immediately with a stroke.  They were uable to return to their beloved home so he is the main caretaker for my mother in my house now.  About a year ago he suffered a stroke himself.  It wasn't a serious one but it affected the right side of his body.  He gradually recovered but not completely.  Even with this, he still is able to take care of my mother.  Change her diapers daily, feed her 3 meals a day and cheers her up.  He is amazing and I have been blessed with a father like him. 

Charlie has bailed us out on so many occasions even with his disability.  He fixes things.  Lawnmowers, my dryer so we can wash and cut the grass.  He helps with gas when we run short of money.  He fix a little car up and sold it therefore enable us to pay electric bill that was about to be disconnected.  He gathers anything and everything that we don't use that has metal so we can go and weigh it for money.  Cardboard boxes for recycling.  I didn't know you can do this but still he knows more then I do.  He does not work but when families visit and give him money, he holds it to buy my mom's favorite food and also to help in what we run short with.  He never say no when I need to borrow money from him.  That's just the type of father he is.  Loving, giving and selflessly helpful.

I remember helping him to read when I was a little girl.  I couldn't understand how a grown man couldn't learn how to read.  Then I found out that my grandfather died leaving behind 11 children.  My father had to work at a very young age to help support the family.  That is why he didn't go to school and that's why he didn't learn how to read.  With his mechanical skills and knowledge, also, his persistence in trying to learn to read, he later became a teacher in the high school I attended.  Something short of a miracle since he was illiterate growing up.  I remember different types of fencing as I was growing up because he would build and strip our fences, from different types of plants to metal fences and wirefences.  He just won't rest until he comletes what it is he sets up to.  Even to building the biggest two-story home in our village.  I can't even do half the things my father has done in his life.

Charlie was a very firm yet gentle man.  He loved us and he loved my mother best.  He was perfect in my eyes until recenty at his old age, I notice, he too has flaws just like every other human being.  His goodness and sweetness outweighs his flaws and I love him so very much.  He wants to return with my mom to die in his home in Tonga.  I feel guilty that I can't even provide this wish for them.  I want to but financially unable to.  Perhaps one day, before they leave this world, I can provide this one last request and wish that they have.  I pray it wont' be too late by then.  Charlie is the best father ever.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

TIME

One of my son Leveni's song is called "All or Nothing".  It also quotes that "time is money" and I'm thinking how right on the money that is.  Time is so precious and I'm sure everyone under the sun knows this.  How we use our time reveals the worth we put on it.  Once gone, there's no turning back.  That's why it's so important that we use it wisely. 

First day of June and boy this year is already half way gone.  What have I accomplished this year anyway?  Really, nothing has been accomplished except getting wiser with time.  The older I get the clearer my views are on life itself.  There's no time for negativity at all.  With our relationship with family, friends and others.  We need to draw closer and feed on each others' strength, love and friendship.  Appreciate the good things in life and the fact that we are alive and continue to breath in this wonderful, beautiful world. 

"Time waits for no man".  I want to make everything count.  So many things I need to work on though.  My focus is the happiness of my children and my family.  Their needs are so simple.  Nothing extravagant.  Happiness is right at everyone's fingertips.  It's only a matter of choice. 

Make use of our time wisely my friends.  You only live once.  Hold those that are dear to us closer and let them know each and every day how complete our lives are with them in it.  Show them how precious they are to all of us.  Time is our own common treasure.  Everyone has the same amount day in and day out.