Monday, September 26, 2011

So grateful

Overwhelmed with gratitude during Sacrament to-day at church.   For all the bounteous blessings that Heavenly Father has blessed me with.  Especially for my family, friends and also more specifically, the
gospel of Jesus Christ in our lives.  Without this gospel, I truly don't know where I"d be with my family.
This gospel is a gospel of happiness, peace and an endless fountain of knwoledge.  I love being a member
of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. 

To-day I thought about my son Eld. Toki and how he has lost himself in the service of God.  What perfect timing in his adulthood life to make that choice for him to go and serve his mission.  He's been out for more then a year already and have less then a year more to go.  Every time I hear from him, my heart explodes with joy and love for this son of mine.   He has baptized many souls and have been called back to the island of Maui to be a Zone Leader.  How thrilling it is to have your children walk in the light of Jesus Christ.  It gives me peace to know that throught these two years, he will build a sure foundation for himself as the future itself remains bleak, unpredictable and unclear.  It will give him strength to better prepare himself to be
a great father and a great priesthood holder for his future family to be.  I pray Eld. Toki will find a "Virtuous" woman for their price is "far above rubies". 

Can't believe this month is almost over.  Truly days now just flies by like minutes.  Fast and furious.  I need to make every moment count. 
.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

What a Week

Football, Emergency room, 'Ana's wedding, fishing in addition to the regularities of my life.  It was an almost typical week except for the occassional trips to the Emergency room.  If it's not my mom, it's my aunt Peta.  If it's not the two of them it's my dad or Sione's mom.  Had to rush my mom to the hospital as she was sick with stomach problems.  I know the Emergency room like the back of my hand.  More times then I care to count.  When any of my parents or my anut is in there, I am the only one that can accommodate their stay.  If one is hospitalized, I have no need to wonder who will see to them at the hospital.  I already know.  I love it though, sometimes the hospital is my break to take a breathing from the business of my everyday life.

My beautiful niece's 'Ana Seini had her wedding this past Friday.  It was one of the happiest weddings I've ever been to.  Married in the temple, 'Ana Seini set the greatest example for the other children to follow.  She is the sweetest, dearest girl.  Sometimes I think she is more like me then my own daughters.  Even my sister-in-law agrees with me.  My own girls are headstrong, stubborn and willfull.  Not that I want to change them.  I love the wildness in them.  Just sometimes I wished they would be a little more rounded spiritually.   This is something that I, personally, has to help them and Lord knows it's not from the lack of trying. 

Mahonrai's Bingham Sophomore football team is yet to be defeated.  They dominate every team they play against.   I think this year they will go undefeated. 

Yesterday, we went fishing.  My husband, bless his heart, failed miserably to catch one darn fish.  Sisilia and I couldn't help but laugh at him.  He was so sure he'll catch at least 40 fishes.  We came home and fried fishes from my sister-in-law's husband who went fishing and make that many catches.  LOL.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Technology dummy

There's no question about it.  I've got to be the dummest of all when it comes to any kind of technological equipment.  It seems they have their own technical language that I fail to comprehend.  I was trying to add a gadget to my blog.  The instruction told me to drag and then paste.  Well I tried that and instead of pasting, it told me to "remove all cookies..."  The only cookies I know is the edible ones.  Hell, I don't even own a cell phone.  Almost everyone else in my family has one but no, not me.  Because I'm home and work on the phone and computer from home, I really don't need one.  (You think I work on computers I'd be a genius at it?  Nah, only the basics.  On, off, answer the phone and type in the information.  Exit.  Plus, it's just another expense I can do without.  Technology is an endless wonder these days.  And they keep coming and coming.  New information, new ideas, new discoveries and only Heaven knows what's coming next. 

Just recently I learned how to text.  My children taught me how.  It's scary when my oldest daughter got her cell phone.  It stuck like glue to her fingers.  Non-stop texting and talking on the phone.  I was afraid it might stick permanently to her fingers.  She whips up that phone everywhere.  In the car, in the restroom, day and night.  Even at church and I'm sitting there poking her to put away her phone.  How irreverent and disrepectful.  It almost blew my mind seeing her fumble with her phone during Sacrament meetings of all places.  She told me she can access her sciptures on her phone.  Not that she can fool me one bit.  Yet "WOW" is all I can say to that.

Now there's I-everything.  Iphone, Ipad, Itouch, Imax and Icons.  Sounds like everything is about Me, Myself and I all the time.  I, I and I.  Everything is Imazing.   But everytime I think about the wonders of technology, I can't help wondering just how far this technical world will go.  When will it all end?  When we can read each others mind?  How terrifying that will be.  Everything is a "click" and a "touch" away.  As for myself, I need to keep up with the rest of the world.  Otherwise, I'm a dead duck.  Now, I need to go and learn how to remove those cookies.  Umm, now I'm craving Oreos!!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Sometimes it feels like half of my life is spent WAITING!  Waiting, waiting and waiting.  For the right moment to arrive, for more time, for more money, for a ride, for another chance, another opportunity, for the right diet, for Mele's guitar strings, for my slow computer to refresh, for detergent, for a response.  Something always comes up to deny and prolong me from getting things done and having things right away. 

Sometimes it's procrastination but most times it's the poor excuses of my circumstances.  Can't do this because I don't have that.  Can't exercise because I need exercising clothes.  Can't get to places because I don't have a car.  Sometimes it just feel like I'm missing all my chances because I'm waiting too long, and yet, everything I've ever wanted does come by.  It just seems like I'm waiting forever and ever for them to happen.  And it seems like I'm running out of time and yet they do come by.

I've always been a Patience-is-a-virtue type of woman.  Never over-anxious but anxious nonetheless.  Always considering the alternatives and the other options.  If this doesn't happen, there's always another way.  "When a door closes, another windows opens."  Never the giving up type.  Always hopeful and forever faithful.  Waiting, waiting and waiting.  Patiently waiting. 

However, there is a dark side to waiting.  Even when you are patiently waiting.  Like this morning.  If one allows it, hopelessness does seeps in.  Despair clouds all reasons and if dwell in these depths of miserable confusions, the foul breath of bitterness can engulf you and sucks you in and I feel like I'm drowning in an ocean with an anchor chained to my ankles going down, down, down.   

This is where God comes in to my rescue and this is when I'm on my knees begging for strength and for forgiveness for my impatience.  This is where I'm reminded, "Look how far you've come, surely you can wait a little bit longer."  I'm reassured that everything happens "for thine own good".  Then I find myself basking in renewed gratitude for what I have been blessed with in all my life.  LIFE itself.  My children.  My families and my friends. 

With hope strengthened and a knowing smile on my face, I realize that this too shall pass.  That if I can wait this long, surely I can wait a little longer.  After all, I'm a master at "WAITING" and I'm a living proof that "good things" does come to those who waits.  I have always been a firm believer that the ALL KNOWING ALMIGHTY always, always knows what is best for me.  So if I don't get what I want or need now, I will eventually get it.  I just have to wait for it.  

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Performances

All the girls performed to-day.  Sil at her Bishop Manatau daughter's wedding and the rest of the girls at the Tonga Festival in Glendale.  Sil sang Celine Dion's "Because you Love Me" and the girls Mele and Pati performed "Poker Face" in the Glee version.  I heard them practicing to-day.  Sil was coaching the younger ones.  Their voices are so different from each others yet they sound good in their own way.  This whole week Patiola has been battling with a cold and just couldn't open up her throat to sing the song she had wanted to sing.  She ended up doing just the duet with Mele and that's it.  Beverly , Mele and Patiola all did a terrific job and it just gives me more ideas on what to have them learn for next year.  It's funny with the younger ones, they long to perform anywhere and everywhere.  Sil, of course being Sil, will never volunteer nor agree to sing unless someone other then us, asks her.  

And there lay the differences between drive and talented.  You can have talent, but if you don't have the drive, you'll never get anywhere.  But if you have little talent but the ambition and drive to better yourself and get somewhere, those are the ones that will make it.  My Beverly spend hours and hours everyday practicing her song for the Festival.  Out of all of them, I'd say Beverly is the most determined and most committed.  She is only 10 and she never wants to miss out on any opportunity to perform.  Her and Patiola.  I thought because of Pati's cold, she'd refuse to perform.  This girl did not back out.  She still sang.  Mele, on the other hand holds the deal.  She's coming around fine yet a little scared.  Eventually they will all come around.  

I believe the Lord blessed us all with unique talents.  It's like the parable of the Talents int the new testament.  To one he gave 5, to one he gave 2 and then another he gave 1.  The 5 and the 2 went to work doubling the talents they were blessed with.  The one with only 1, buried it and did nothing with it.  The Lord was very displeased with him that He cast him out of His presence.  Silia, I fear is the one with one.  The only thing she's really good at is singing.  The girl was born to sing.  The day she realizes this, is the day that she will prosper. 

Monday, September 5, 2011

Lucky in Love

"When they talk of someone dying of love, this is what they mean.  This is what happens.  It is being given a glimpse of paradise and then being denied it.  So that your lives turn to ashes in your mouth.  What did you expect me to do Nan.. behave as if you mean nothing to me, I might as well dig a hole in the ground and bury myself alive." 

And this is why I love reading, writing and watching movies.  Reality pales in comparison to movies and books when it comes to expression of emotions, yearning and longings.  No one says it better then books and characters.  Nan and Guy of "The Buccaneers" is a love story filled with suppressed love, infidelity and scandalous affairs.  It got me twisted in tangles of anger, sadness and at the end happiness for Nan as she finally got the courage to leave her Duke of a husband and be with Guy whom have always loved her since the first time he set eyes on her.

The British and their Aristocrats has long been a fascination of mine.  The way they treasure and worship their titles and their women living their lives as tightly laced as their everyday corsets.  Heaven forbid that their hair be out of place or their men go without their pantyhose, powdered wigs and faces.  So boringly feminine and dull.  Give me a Backwood's man or a cowboy anytime.  

Marriage of convenience, Arranged and forced marriages can be cold and bloody ugly.  To live without love in a marriage is worse then anything imaginable.  Void, dull, empty and grieviously pretentious.  I wouldn't want to wish it on my worse enemy.  Some survives and endures it for years.  Just to become indifferent, unfeeling and pass feeling.  Others are lucky to get out like Nan to find true love waiting for her.  I love happy endings and pray that all my children will find happiness in their marriages.  My son has a Heavenly marriage to his wife.  Their young love blooms and radiates inbetween them.  It manifest itself when they come around.  They are lucky in love.  I am grateful for that and pray that everyone of my children will have a happy marriage.   

Saturday, September 3, 2011

A True Blue Fan

BYU Vs. OLE MISS to-day got me and hubby roaring and screaming.  For the first 3 quarters, BYU failed to score at all.  I was beginning to blame myself for jinxing the team.  This always happen (I'm thinking) when I'm watching one of my favorite teams play.  The minute I turn my back and leave, they score.  I came back and it was a little over 5 minutes left.  OLe Miss has possessive of the ball.  #3 Van Voy of the Y, I think that's his name, caused a fumble and scooped it up to make the saving play of the game!  OLE MISS thought they had the game in the basket.  Well, as typical of BYU ball games, they never give up until the fat whistle honks. 

I'm a crazy football fanatic fan.  Have always been since my boys started the game.  At first I had no clue of what it is I was watching.  I still don't but at least I know the key positions.  Quarter back, running back Defense and Offense.  That's it.  But give me a game and I have all my adrenalins pumped up until I'm jumping, running, shrieking and yelling like a maniac.  At my son Mahonrai's game, I never sit down.  Uh uh.  You won't find me sitting around.  I'm lined up exactly where the ball is on the back of the bleeches.  Don't want to miss a thing. 

I love football seasons.  Not much fan of basketball at all.  I love Rugby too and not much lover of soccer.  My baby Bev wants to play soccer so I think I'm going to sign her up next week.  But my favorite of all is football.  Mo's first game started with a bang.  They played against their rivalry team Alta.  Well again, it was a last minute win.  20 Bingham and I think 14 Alta.  It was a close game.  Mahonrai was on fire.  He plays Defense and he is a beast out there.  Boy am I glad I switched my shift to graveyard.  That way I won't miss a game.  Ha ha.  Watch out world Bingham and BYU is in the House.  Oh by the way, Granger is 3-0.  Mahonrai's team mates are firing it up at their own conference.  "O" for Awesome.  Bring it on.

Thank God for Girls

This typical Saturday afternoon gets me singing Hallelujah for girls.  I have four of them and boy when they decide to be submissive and agreeable, it's a Heavenly Bliss.  Sisilia cleaning and mopping the kitchen, Mele the Living Room, Patiola the bathroom and Beverly, that miscreant, also help with various chores, like emptying the dishwasher, rinsing the garbage can, swatting the flies et cetera....

Music is blasting and everyone occupies themselves with their chores.  Neni girl (my niece) is here and she's also helping.  I'm cooking because hubby will be home shortly and he wants food ready on the table so he could watch the BYU game at 4.  I've been working all morning and boy life is full of promises when what you're engaging in is worthwhile and helpful to loved ones, family members as well as others.

Boys are evasive and will be lost to us parents.  They will get married and dedicate themselves to their wives.  That is a wonderful thing.  I've learned that with my oldest son.  Girls, I've learned for myself, will always be girls.  Always be our daughters even when marry.  We will always be our mother's daughters or our father's little princesses.  Girls are loyal, caring and will remain close even with families of their own.  They will always be there. 

The night before, a friend of Sisilia's passed away in a car accident.  Not one of her best friend but a friend none-the-less.  Sil showed me her blog to-day and it brought tears to my eyes.  So young!  25 year old Janelle Tonga'onevai died in a car accident.  I've seen her before but never talked to her.  Her blog left me breathless.  How she loved her husband and the depth of that love.  Now I wonder how her husband Ron will go on.  He will survive of course but what tragic impact this lost will be on him.  They just celebrated their one year anniversary. 

Life is precious and to be cherished.  With everything that is going on and everyone that passes on makes me more determine to live and love to the fullest.  To appreciate my life and those that I've been blessed with.  Girls rule to-day and I'm grateful for them. 

Stuffs garbage are made of...

"The dream of being an underage drinker often winds up in here".  I squinted as I read the words on the outside panel of our garbage truck.  Assuredly, the quote refers to the trash but I couldn't help wondering whether it was referring to the garbage truck driver too.  The thought made me giggle as I peeked outside the front yard to see the truck picking up the garbage dumping it to the back.  I'm also willing to bet that the garbage truck driver makes more than me hourly.  My husband has been voicing his complain aggressively lately.  That I need a second job to make things work.  My job is good but commission sucks now and every time we're slow, they VTO me.  I don't know why they call it VTo because I never volunteer time off.  They always demand it.  "Oh we're slow, you have to VTO now!"  They should call it GThO (Get the hell off).  I don't understand why they hire more people if work is always slow.   

In my old age, I hate to admit that I do regret not finishing up college.  The realization is hitting home like a hammer to a nail.  Education would be the only thing I would have done differently if given a second chance to do things over.  I'm determined to go back to school but there are some things that still stands in the way.  As soon as that is taken care of then I will go back to school.  My husband strongly disagrees, he thinks I'm too old.  I beg to differ.  There are 80 year old grandmas and grandpas still going back to school.  Plus I think a few more years to get a degree is worth it so I get a better paying job instead of this dead end jobs that's backing us up to a corner with no progress or advancement. 

A few of my newphews and nieces failed to graduate from high school.  I thought that impossible here in this great United States but it's sad to see these kids wasting their time and their life away.  The world out there are dying to get their feet here in America to make a living, finish school, get a better life and yet, these kids just let everything pass them by.  They will pay for it in the future though.  They will wish they had graduated and done better in school.  But just right now, they breeze through life in blissfull ignorance.  Oh how they will regret these choices.  So sad. 

Wasting of precious time and useful talents is like tossing the "pearl to the swine".  These are stuff garbage are made of.  Some times if we aren't careful with the things we do and spend time on, it will come back to haunt us.  Let's not throw it all away.