Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Waiting, waiting, waiting

Sometimes it feels like half of my life is spent WAITING!  Waiting, waiting and waiting.  For the right moment to arrive, for more time, for more money, for a ride, for another chance, another opportunity, for the right diet, for Mele's guitar strings, for my slow computer to refresh, for detergent, for a response.  Something always comes up to deny and prolong me from getting things done and having things right away. 

Sometimes it's procrastination but most times it's the poor excuses of my circumstances.  Can't do this because I don't have that.  Can't exercise because I need exercising clothes.  Can't get to places because I don't have a car.  Sometimes it just feel like I'm missing all my chances because I'm waiting too long, and yet, everything I've ever wanted does come by.  It just seems like I'm waiting forever and ever for them to happen.  And it seems like I'm running out of time and yet they do come by.

I've always been a Patience-is-a-virtue type of woman.  Never over-anxious but anxious nonetheless.  Always considering the alternatives and the other options.  If this doesn't happen, there's always another way.  "When a door closes, another windows opens."  Never the giving up type.  Always hopeful and forever faithful.  Waiting, waiting and waiting.  Patiently waiting. 

However, there is a dark side to waiting.  Even when you are patiently waiting.  Like this morning.  If one allows it, hopelessness does seeps in.  Despair clouds all reasons and if dwell in these depths of miserable confusions, the foul breath of bitterness can engulf you and sucks you in and I feel like I'm drowning in an ocean with an anchor chained to my ankles going down, down, down.   

This is where God comes in to my rescue and this is when I'm on my knees begging for strength and for forgiveness for my impatience.  This is where I'm reminded, "Look how far you've come, surely you can wait a little bit longer."  I'm reassured that everything happens "for thine own good".  Then I find myself basking in renewed gratitude for what I have been blessed with in all my life.  LIFE itself.  My children.  My families and my friends. 

With hope strengthened and a knowing smile on my face, I realize that this too shall pass.  That if I can wait this long, surely I can wait a little longer.  After all, I'm a master at "WAITING" and I'm a living proof that "good things" does come to those who waits.  I have always been a firm believer that the ALL KNOWING ALMIGHTY always, always knows what is best for me.  So if I don't get what I want or need now, I will eventually get it.  I just have to wait for it.  

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