Through recent pondering and contemplation, I realize just how much I have abandoned myself. As a person, an individual and a woman. I'm one who always put everyone else's needs above and before my own. In addition to my children, I take care of my beloved parents, both have had stroked and mom is bedridden. Also, my great aunt Peta who adopted me. All in my home. So I am a care-giver and a nurturer and I rejoice at the opportunity to be able to do that. However, I realize that in the process of loosing myself in their service, I have come to a total abandonment and neglegence of Me, Myself and I and it doesn't have to be that way.
Don't these words have a selfish ring to them? ME, MYSELF AND I. I believe if I put my own needs above anyone else's then it does. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about taking care of myself and the basic needs of my body and nourishment of my mind and soul as a woman, as a mother and as an individual. All day everyday, I run around like a headless chicken, cooking meals, delivering meals, throwing in laundry, loading the dishwasher, running errands, cleaning and more cooking, taking care of the people I love and loving what I do but now and then my mind is screaming: "What about me woman! You take care of everyone else but yourself!" Who will do this for me? Sadly, no one else will or can do this for me but myself.
Lately I haven't been looking myself straight in the mirror. Honestly not contend at all with what and who I see in there. My reflection reveals a run-down, breaking-down, falling apart image. Not only from the lack of sleep but also from the lack of tender loving care and nourishment. So I'm taking a step back to re-evaluate the way I treat myself. This body is so healthy and strong and I want to say MAGNIFICENT but that would be sounding too conceited and full of myself. LOL. But my body has been good to me and I need to reciprocate that goodness so it can continue. That way I'll be as good as new to take care of those I love. Doggone it but here is the list of what I need to do:
Exercising (at least 4 times a week)
Eating right (I'm anti fruit and vegetable since I ate mostly that for the first half of my life)
Brush my teeth for an extra 2 minutes twice a day and don't forget to floss
Combing my hair more then once a day (sometimes I don't even have time to comb at all)
Making sure I take my daily supplements (those horse pills give me the creeps when I try to swallow)
Putting cream on my cracked, dried up heels (Utah weather is as dry as the desert itself)
Apply my anti-age nourishing cream to my face twice a day. (When you're over 45, your skin needs extra care and attention. To firm, lift, tightened and polished)
Shape my uneven fingernails and toenails. (I tend to bite them. Fingernails that is)
Pluck and shape my bushy eyebrows and moustache. (My husband and children never fails to remind me when they're overgrowing. My girls: "Ewwhhh mom, your eyebrows!" My husband: "Honey, you're moustache is growing longer then mine").
Shave shave and more shave. (Three places: my legs, my underarms and the top of my big toes)
Medidate: Take time out of my busy schedule to be quiet and listen to myself. My thoughts, my feelings for the world can clatter with so much distracting noises.
Organize and plan: A must because right now, chaos follow me everywhere from the lack of organization and planning.
Don't over-treat myself: Yes I tend to over-indulge myself to oreos and other sweets. I need to calm down in that area. An emotional eater? Well that's another post altogether.
Me, myself and I, truly deserves these TLC moments. That way I can honestly say: "I LOVE MYSELF!" and not try to dodge myself in the mirror every time I look at it.