Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Being Both

I entered her room and she motioned for me to sit on her bed.  With a piercing glare at me she declared,
"Listen to me and listen well.  I'll say this to you face to face."   Her countenance was earnest and I realize she wasn't trifling with me.  I can always tell when my Aunt Peta is trying to get an important point across.

"You my dear shouldn't dress up as a woman anymore.  You should be wearing pants from Monday through Saturday and wear dresses only on Sundays".  My mind races ahead and I knew exactly where this conversation was leading.  She continues with her hands flailing everywhere in the air,
"Look at your husband!'  Her face crave with worry.  "He can barely walk from here to there.  You have to be both the man and the woman in the family.  Wear pants so you can work with your hands, climb up and down when and wherever you need to climb.  Run here and there.  Make your hands strong like a man's for you and only you alone will carry this family."

My aunt lifted both of her hands for me to take a good look.   She has beautiful long fingers, slim and polished.
"Look at my hands.  My hands were once strong from hard labor and work.  When my father died, I had to be both the man and the woman for my family.   I worked day and night.  Go to the plantation and labor like a man.  You have to do the same.  You are not doing nearly enough Sela.  Not even half of things that I had to do when I was a young woman."

I asked myself, isn't that what I have been doing  for the past few yeasr?  Carry the family!  Obviously I haven't been doing enough.   But then again, Peta has an all knowing mind.  Wise and refined from her own life.  What she said was right.  I need to do more.   I'm still too comfortable in my own way.   Way too comfortable.  

As I walked out of her room, I was determined to be better.  Better mother, better woman and a better provider for my family.  Be both the man and the woman from now on.   

10 comments:

  1. A very interesting analogy- and yes you are having to do so much. I am amazed at all you do and the wonderful attitude you continue to have. It is inspirational.

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    1. You're always so sweet Emmy. Thank you.

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  2. Wow, that's amazing, and sounds like you are already doing a lot though.

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    1. LOL Mimi, you know what they say about the "tips of the iceberg". There still a lot more that I can and need to do. Thanks for always dropping by and commenting on my blog. That's what blogging friends are for, right? Hi hi hi.

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  3. Sounds like you have a lot on your hands. Hopefully, you find time to enjoy life as you do them.

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    1. Isn't that the secret to staying happy, finding joy in everything that you do in this life. No matter how big or small. "Through small and simple things, great things shall come to pass." Thank you for the wonderful comments you continue to leave on my blog. Really do appreciate it.

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  4. good luck!! our minds give up long before our bodies.

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  5. I'm not ashamed of the calluses and scars on my hands!

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  6. We have recently just met Sela, so I am going to go out on a limb here and give you full permission to AIR IT OUT here. Hopefully you don't have too many family members reading (unlike my mistake). I might also say, keep your head up. We can ALWAYS do more, but are not always needing to do more. Take your aunt's wisdom, but make sure you apply it according to YOU and your lifestyle. I am not a Polynesian, just married to one. The young are lazy (from my experience) and the older generation has too high expectations of those younger than them. You are falling in the middle here.

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