The phrase: "I wish I knew then what I know now", every now and then feels more like a dagger to my brain then wishful thinking. Had I knew then what I know now I'd have done SOME THINGS differently. And not reason them away like a smug and well prepared lawyer. With that being said, SOME THINGS sums up to a mountain of one thing only and that is EDUCATION! Yes! I wished I'd have stayed in college and finish up what I really came here to America for. Moreover, why is the statement "Youth is wasted on the Young" rings more clearer now then when I read it as a youth! Especially, indeed and of course when it comes to my children!
For some times now I've struggled to calm this immense hunger and thirst that torments my mind. Like a piece of parched and deserted soil longing for water and nourishment. Truly, some people including me, can refer to myself as an Educated Woman, just because I've put in a couple of years in college. Why then do I feel deprived and gravely lacking? I'm well aware of what I lack. I lack the proper training and learning that goes on inside the great establishment of a SCHOOL. With teachers and professors teaching you inside the confinement of a CLASSROOM! And why is this thought of EDUCATION seems so appealing now that I'm getting old when it was somehow repulsive when I was in college?
Do I really have to wonder? I refuse to discuss the reasons why I dropped out of college in the first place. Sometimes those reasons makes me smile a Heavenly smirk. Sometimes they make me want to poke myself in the eye and spit in the air! Education has always been a household rule when I was growing up. Mom and Dad couldn't pound it enough into our brains. A lot of good that did us. None of us took it to our hearts and our heads. We're paying the price and it's a costly one. I chose not to listen and dare I expect the same from the fruits of my loin? It's almost like I've just shot myself in the foot.
My husband thinks it's too late to go back to school. Oh yeah? I beg to differ. If that's the case then why do I see people twice my age wheel-chairing back to school. Some with canes and walkers, crutches and all. If I have to crawl I'll do it because I can no longer deny this need to educate my brains. It's been dormant too long and lately I've been feeling like I'm brain-dead. So AGONIZING!
To my children if you're reading this, I say: STAY IN SCHOOL!!! If you're not in school, make time to go back. It is IMPERATIVE that you do. Take it from one whose one and only regret is not finishing school. I wish I'd have listened to my parents and STAYED IN SCHOOL!