Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Disciplining

"Mom, you're like a Marshmallow.  She will eat you up for breakfast."  My second daughter said this to me while dropping them off at school.  Between me and my husband, I am the mediator and the peace maker but many times I want to kick myself hard because I can be a pushover when it come to my children and that is not good.  But especially my youngest, she knows she can get away with anything when it comes to me and my husband said that to me this morning. 

We're going through it with our youngest daughter Beverly Shania.  Far left with the Peachy dress.  She's 14 years old and as headstrong and determine as they come.  Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad.  Bev is extremely athletic and smart.  Straight A student and this past few weeks she has given us a run for our money with constant disobedient and disregard to rules that has been specifically given to her.  With the friends she chooses to sloughing school and also loosing her playtime in the school Volleyball team because of that, we had to make ultimatums.

Last Friday we rushed my husband to Emergency.  Monday I let her tryout for the basketball team knowing full well it's against his wishes.  Mainly because I didn't want to break her heart but I did tell her that just because she's trying out doesn't mean her dad will allow her to play which is the biggest mistake I made.  (Marshmallow that I am).  Last night my husband when he was discharged from the hospital and during family prayer, told her she will not be allowed to play basketball and yet she didn't quite grasp what he said.  I saw her this morning getting ready for school and it dawned on me that she's getting ready also for basketball practice.  I asked her:  "Bev, you do remember dad told you last night no more basketball?"  Oh it finally hit her and she started bawling.  Her father sat her down and explained to her the reasons she won't be allowed to play basketball.  She cried and begged and I felt my heart was ripping out of my chest and yet I knew he was right.  She has to face the consequences of her choices.  We've given her so many chances and she stretched it to the max.  Now she still can't see why she can't play.

Every other member of our family voice their opinions at me as they shake their heads with disapproval when they found out I let her tryout.  All of them don't think she deserves to play basketball after what she had put us through but seeing her so sad, crying and begging just breaks my heart.  It was at the tip of my tongue to stand up against my husband's decision.  I could easily do that but his words rang truth in my ears, "We have to be on the same page to make this work".   So many times chaos comes into our family because we're not on the same page.  Many times I do things against his will and it comes back to just bite me in the butt.  I was going to do it again but something told me to back off.  To allow Beverly to see she can't just walk all over us thinking that she can get away with the bad choices she made after all.  It was hard for both of us and on our way to drop them off, she actually said our morning prayer and she cried while she was praying. I prayed that she might soften her heart and do as she's told.  I pray that she won't do anything stupid and I reminded her before she got out of the car.

Disciplining children sometimes hurts me more then them.  I have to trust my husband's decision on this because he is, after all, the head of the family and the Priesthood holder.  I am not always on the right.  Just last night I see all my children's faces in my mind.  Words can not describe how much I love them all.  From my oldest to my youngest.  "Life is not always a walk in the park", we just need to take it one day at a time.   This day too shall pass and I only cross my fingers that my daughter will have the good sense not to do something stupid like how I usually contemplated in my mind when I was a teenager getting angry with my parents for not allowing me to do everything I wanted.  We all want the best of our children.  That's all. 

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