This morning I actually entertained the thought of putting my Beverly Shania in a Private School. I know the reason why the thought never entered my mind before was because of how expensive it is. Almost like going to college! Phew. On Facebook I saw my cousin Toli post up an acceptance letter for her little Martha to an Episcopal school and those schools are so expensive but out there in San Francisco, they make major money on being a Nanny. Dolls work for United Airlines from home and at night she watches these babies sleep while their rich parents sleep in their own rooms right next to it. Gets paid up to $22 per hour just to watch them sleep. Amazing what money can do.
Anyways, we've been going through some things with my precious Bev. Things that I've never thought we would go through as parents, nonetheless, we've been reluctantly and dreadfully crossing our fingers that none of our children will come to us with this. Just when we thought we were out of the woods with raising good and wholesome children, this last one throws us a curve ball that totally floors us to the pits of what really feels like hell. That is why I am considering putting her in a Private LDS school that cost $500 a month. The days of allowing money to stand in my way is gone. I've finally learn the ways of life that if you want something, well, you've just got to get out of your comfort zone and go get it. I felt like I've been such a coward all my life. Allowing my circumstances to limit me. It's sad that it took me this look to figure it out, but such is the ways of life sometimes. Some takes longer to learn, some latches on right away and then there are those who never seems to learn. I have been a slow learner.
When I first began to bear children, I made a promise to God that if He takes care of my children, I will make sure that I will teach and do everything in my power to have them know His will and keep all His commandments. God did His part but I sorely lacked on mine. I wasn't consistent. I was slothful and sometimes indifferent. Yes, that is the right word. Indifferent to God because I didn't always know how to deal well with my refinement. I know this life is a probationary state and when we endure hardship, we are suppose to endure them well. This wasn't always the case. Instead of turning to Him ALL the time for strength and guidance, I turned to myself thinking I can do it all. I don't need His help and sometimes I asked the question: "What's the use?" I was giving up. Giving up on my children and myself.
"What's the use?"
* Because we are off-springs of a Heavenly Father who loves us and wants us back with Him
* Because the worth of souls is great
* Because I love my children and they are worth the fight
* Because I love myself and I am worth fighting for
* Because life doesn't end here on this earth. Our spirits live forever into all the eternities and infinity
and we do not want to spend forever in the misery of all our sins if we don't repent
* Because we all deserve the best of what God intents for us to have.
* Because our Savior Jesus Christ, our Redeemer and the only Begotten Son of God came and laid down His life for us. That is how much He loves us. We will not take that for granted.
My Beverly Shania may think she can get away with what she does. She's got another thing coming. We've made it a family mission to see that she's protected, looked after and well loved by each and every one of us. The parable of the Good Shepherd who left the 99 in search of the 1 has never been so meaningful now. It's not that the 1 is worth more, but because He is a good Shepherd and every last one of his sheep are worth the same to Him. She may consider herself the "black sheep" of the family. She'll be white as snow when we're done with her. With God on our side, we can never go wrong. I love each and every one of my children so much. They are worth fighting for.