The older I get, the clearer I see God's hand in everything under the sun. People make choices and have no idea how shattering the consequences will be and God does His best to intervene without interfering with our Free Agency to choose. He knows us and He knows that without His intervention, we'd all end up where we don't want to be. So He created the plan of Happiness having His son make the Ultimate Sacrifice so we, His children, can know and feel His unending and unconditional love for us. His son Jesus Christ ransomed us with His blood so when we repent, our sins can all be forgiven.
My heart can not fathom the endless mercy and grace that a loving Heavenly Father has for all His children. In everything that we do, He's always there trying His best to salvage us from the mess that we make in all our lives. These past few weeks my family struggled aimlessly and hopelessly for some kind of relief from the chaos that perhaps, many family goes through, yet to us was all new as we panicked and did some things that really didn't help improve our predicament. But ever so slowly as things began to unfold and when every solution seemed to have been exhausted, I begin to see that the Mighty hands of the Lord had always been there right from the very beginning. Watching, caring, prompting and desperately trying to assist us in the depth of our hopelessness.
To-day, on my way to work, as I sat alone in the near empty hall of the Front-runner, I was enfolded in the warmth of Heavenly Father's loving arms. I felt it as surely as I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face. Assuring me, that when I put my faith and hope in Him and put Him first, when I try to Keep all His commandments, everything will work out. Things happened so unexpectedly in our favor. What we thought was eventually not a good disposition turned out to be a way out. People we thought would cause us distress, turned out to be a blessing to us. It's as if a web have been weaved and padded to cushion our family when we fall. Almost like trying to sew our family quilt together to a certain pattern and some pieces are either missing or sewn together wrong. Therefore, there's a need to be taken apart to be resewn together correctly. This "taken apart" can come in the form of failure, heartache, pain, disappointment, betrayal and confusion. It hurts like hell and no one is immune and we can not do it on our own at any time. Only with God and Christ are we able to conquer all our foes, afflictions and weaknesses.
In small things and in big things, from the beginning and until the end, God has always been there and will always be there for us. Like some of the lyrics to an old favorite song: "In His Hands, He's Got the Whole World...He's got the Whole Wide World in His Hands." Just about two weeks ago our Bev and her cousin Ange went on a Friday night and didn't return home until morning. We were up the whole night worrying. Sione was at the hospital while I was trying to make sure things run smoothly in our home. Everything fell apart this night. We needed to send Bev away and my heart broke into million pieces because I know how much I'm going to miss her. I don't know if she was going to miss home, but, I already felt how much I was going to miss her and I do so as I'm writing right now. The fact that Sisilia and Misi were up in Provo was just what we needed to get Bev away from here and this environment. She may not realize it, but it was necessary for us to do this. I know she was hurting and probably thinking that we are sending her away because we don't love her. It was tearing me apart. The night she left I was up all night crying. She came home for Father's Day and that night was a total disaster. At the end of the night as they were about to depart to Provo, she got her father (as he was discharged that Saturday before Father's Day), and I together in a hug. Words can not describe the love I have for this girl. My Beverly Shania. She told us she loved us and they left.
My new job takes me to Provo. I can visit Bev whenever I want. Her sister and Misi said she's doing great out there. When I paid them a visit last week, she actually told me she likes it there. She has an incredible support team from her Bishop, her youth leaders and Silly and Misi. It's going to be a long road for all of us but with God's help, everything will fall into place. I love my Bevvy girl and I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves me perfectly even with all my imperfections. As always, with God, nothing is impossible. The love of a mother for her children is like nothing in this world.