Tuesday, April 12, 2011

My lovely Mother

To-day I took my mom to her Breast Cancer Doctor.  She hasn't left her bed for almost 4 weeks now.  I can tell she was extremely frightened of the commotions of getting her ready and  moving her around to get to her appointment.   Poor thing, a deep sadness settles within me as I realize that my mother will not ever walk again until the day she passes away.  I wanted to weep for her, but couldn't bring myself to do so infront of her.  She never uttered a word, the whole time we were gone and she looked so scared and sad.  I kept assuring her that everything will be ok and she kept nodding her head in agreement but in her eyes, I knew she didn't believe me. 

I love my mother.  I can't help but wonder if the way that our lives turned out is a disappointment to her.  She made sure we got a good education.  She provided everything for us and we never lacked for anything growing up in Tonga.   She had a career and everything she did, she did for us and her extended family.  She was smart, beautiful and confident.  I pray that when all this shall pass, that she realizes how great a mother she is and was to all her children.   She has helped many people along the way.  Especially her family from Ha'apai and she was responsible and trustworthy.  A virtuous woman.

I don't know how long I'll have her in this life.  Who knows she might just outlive me.  But one thing I know is that I want to make living as pleasant and happy as I can possibly can for her.  I am overwhelmed with so much gratitude that I still have a mom who is still living.  So I can return a portion of what she gave me when I was growing up.  God bless you mom.  I love you.