To-day I took my mom to her Breast Cancer Doctor. She hasn't left her bed for almost 4 weeks now. I can tell she was extremely frightened of the commotions of getting her ready and moving her around to get to her appointment. Poor thing, a deep sadness settles within me as I realize that my mother will not ever walk again until the day she passes away. I wanted to weep for her, but couldn't bring myself to do so infront of her. She never uttered a word, the whole time we were gone and she looked so scared and sad. I kept assuring her that everything will be ok and she kept nodding her head in agreement but in her eyes, I knew she didn't believe me.
I love my mother. I can't help but wonder if the way that our lives turned out is a disappointment to her. She made sure we got a good education. She provided everything for us and we never lacked for anything growing up in Tonga. She had a career and everything she did, she did for us and her extended family. She was smart, beautiful and confident. I pray that when all this shall pass, that she realizes how great a mother she is and was to all her children. She has helped many people along the way. Especially her family from Ha'apai and she was responsible and trustworthy. A virtuous woman.
I don't know how long I'll have her in this life. Who knows she might just outlive me. But one thing I know is that I want to make living as pleasant and happy as I can possibly can for her. I am overwhelmed with so much gratitude that I still have a mom who is still living. So I can return a portion of what she gave me when I was growing up. God bless you mom. I love you.