Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Eve

The house is full. "Jingle Bells" song brightens the kitchen as the kids are busily building their very first Gingerbread House.  Thanks to my sister-in-law, Neita, they are finally experiencing this.  If it was up to me, that would never happen.  As much as I strive to lift my spirit up to-day, my heart and mind are heavy with sadness and worry.  Don't know which burdens me more.  The sadness or the worry.  So I got on my knees this morning, and I uttered a fervent prayer for courage and strength.  Just to get through this day and not fall apart.  But as the day wears on my burdens grew heavier.

This morning we buried a newborn baby.   The mom, Priscilla, had her and she lived for 8 hours.  Don't remember the cause of death but I couldn't help crying when I saw the mom's face as they pour dirt into her child's grave.  Pain, grief and mourning.  In the same funeral, I found out one of my old childhood friend is fighting for her life as she have just been diagnosed with Stage 4 brain cancer.  Then later on this evening, after a few stops to pick up some last minute gifts, I was informed that my niece Rosie's baby, died last night in his sleep.  I couldn't help crying.  Another child's life and more on the line to come and just last week we attended my husband's nephew's funeral in California who had died in a car accident.

Then I think about my own circumstances, how it's nothing compare to what others are going through this Christmas season and I feel selfish and unappreciative of the things that I have.  That here, right this very moment, is life.  Live and let live.  That even with the hardship and hard times, I'm still healthy, my children are alive and healthy and that life is a gift so I should  live it well.  Worries be banned.  Trust in the Lord and remember when one door closes, another door opens.  There's always hope as long as we live and breath.

So tomorrow is Christmas day.  I won't focus on the negatives and what I don't have.  I will focus on the Gift, my Savior Jesus Christ and how he was born this day providing hope and good tidings to all of mankind.  How Mary must have felt knowing her son will be born in a manger, together with the animals, yet he is the King of all Kings.  Born in the lowest of lowliness.  So humble and mild.  I should be so humble.  So this Christmas Eve, let me get over myself and prepare myself to celebrate His birth.

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