Friday, March 30, 2012

And so I ate

An old friend of mine invited me to her house to share dinner with.  I'll call her "N".  We went to the same high school, attend college together and we once were roommates.  She's my cousin as well as my long time friend.  Recently her husband left her with 6 children and after church, I needed a ride home and one of her friends gave both of us a ride.

On our way to drop her off first, she begged me to join her for dinner.  I thought I'd do a good deed and join her for dinner since her husband just left her and she sounds extremely desperate for company. So in we went into her house.  When she mentioned she made chicken casserole for dinner, I practically salivated because I know how yummy chicken casseroles tastes.  Suddenly the bake chicken I had made for dinner at home didn't seem too inviting.

As we entered her kitchen, she handed me a fork and a plate and pulled her Casserole from the oven.  Placed it on her counter and I couldn't help but just stare at it.  It looks like she cut up chicken and broccoli with no sauce in it.  Then dump white dry rice on top.

What!  this doesn't look like the typical Casserole.

An inner evil voice poked at me:

Well what did you expect Sela.  This is "N" and you've obviously forgotten she can't cook worth a trap

So I ignore that voice and sink my fork into the dish to scrape dry white rice, broccoli and pit and pieces of shred chicken into my plate.   I decided that "N's" version of Casserole is far off the mark from mine. 

In the process of scraping the food onto my plate, low and behold, a long, and I say looooooooooong piece of black hair got dragged up with my casserole.  "N" was standing right next to me and of course I couldn't just drop my plate into the sink and pretend I'm not hungry.  She watched as I lift my fork up in the air trying to dodge the hair that was stuck to my casserole.

"Looks like you lost a hair in there "N",  Swallowing my breath and wanting to gag already.
 "Oh I'm sorry Sela.  Here let me take it off"  So she removed the hair and I did what I thought was very brave.  I asked,  "Where's your Microwave?" She pointed to it at the same time stating , "Oh it's still warm from the oven". 
"Yes I know, but I want my food always hot hot".  I lied.

I'm going to burn whatever bacteria that hair left on my plate to oblivion. 
"Oh ok".   
So I microwaved my plate until I was sure all the germs are eradicated.  Then courageously swallowed every single piece of food .  "N" was watching me intently and I think she was making sure I eat everything on my plate.

That is the last time I'm ever going to eat anything at "N"'s house.  I resolved.

"You want some brownies?  She asked."
"Oh no thank you.  I'm stuffed".  Another lie.  I love brownies but my stomach just can't handle another bite. 

 The brownie dish was sitting on the kitchen table and I saw her two boys shoving their hands in it and eating right out of it with boogers hanging down their nose.   Uh uh, I'm not touching that. 

"How about a drink?  My "L" (her daughter) made some lemonade.

"Sure, I'll have one".  She brought it over but not once did I sip.  I was done in by the casserole.

Made up my mind that after all these years, some people just never change.  "N" never learned how to cook and I don't know how I could have forgotten it.  And I just ate food that had a long hair in it.  Yuck!  I didn't want "N" to think I hate her food.  That would be rude!  And I'm not a rude person.  So I ate.

I told my husband what happened and he almost flipped  laughing at me.

I love "N" to death but I'm never going to eat anything she cooks ever again.


  1. Ok, that's pretty gross. I'm not a great cook, but at least I try to hold the hair! LOL

  2. ha well you survived!!!
    thank you for your thoughts today. i appreciate you and your blogging friendship.
    happy happy weekend!!

  3. Omagosh. That's really disgusting. You really DID do a good deed!

  4. Oh man, finding hair in food is the worst! Today I had a piece of pie and there was a thorn in it. A sharp piece of wood. I couldn't believe it.

    Yes, I LOVED Conference!

    1. What the? Now that's just plain dangerous.

  5. I couldn't have done it. I would have thrown up.

  6. Oh you are a good friend! And yes, don't eat there again