Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Common Courtesy

Does it matter what color of skin we have when it comes to Common Courtesy?  Is it innate or learned? 

I was raised in a culture that not only teaches Common Courtesy but people who culturally live it from day to day.  Most of these common courtesy are COMMON and universal:

Always say "please and thank you and excuse me".
Respect your elders.  People who are older then you.
Listen when someone else talks.
Honor your parents and don't back talk to them.
Share Share Share

One of these and perhaps the most common, is SHARING.  Particularly of food because we really didn't have much of anything else:

Because we lived in a tiny tinnie island and everyone knows one another, it's very rude for one, if they have a plate of food, not to offer someone else (if anyone is around) a share of it.  Even if what you have is a small portion, it's common courtesy to at least ask: 

"Would like a piece of bread?"
"Hey, would you like to have some of this?"
"Come and eat with us."

In Tonga, if one visits any house and they are having a meal, you are always invited in to join them.  Even if what they have is only enough for them.  Even if they really don't want you to... but they will always offer!  It's the polite thing to do. 

My sister-in-law has a house guest  that lives there for free, gets free transportation and is welcome to their food at any time.  She had asked them to take her in for about 2 weeks, during that time, she'll have enough money to get a car and go back to her apartment.  Right now, she works at the same place where my sister-in-law's daughter works, so they carpool.  This is the reason why she moved in the first place.  It's going on three months now.

Well, yesterday, we picked her up from work.  Sister-in-law needed potatoes from the store so the house guest was asked to go and buy the bag of potato.  When she came in, she had bought a plate of food and not once did she even have the decency to ask, "Hey, I just bought a plate of food, do you guys want some?"  Not that we were hungry.  But seriously, not one word!  I came to find out later, my sister-in-law says, she does this all the time.  Buys her own food, eats by herself and not utter a word to offer at least, if any one else wanted some.

How do you live for free in someone else's house, use their car for transportation, eat their food whenever you want to and forget to be courteous when it comes to your own food.  I don't get it.   Label your name on your own stuff yet your living for free in someone else's house!  How does one become clueless when it comes to that?  WOW...

One thing for sure, I know my children will never ever be this clueless because in our family and our home, you share everything! 


  1. What a rude guest!
    Unfortunately, I think our culture is very selfish and rude.

  2. Sometimes I think common courtesy has become a lost art form here in America. So frustrating sometimes!

  3. Rude guest! I teach my kids manners, that's for sure.

  4. Oh my lord - how horrid! I would definitely wallop them with a stiletto, that's for sure.

  5. I agree!! Sharing is so important and we need to teach our children!! Thanks for visiting my blog as well.

  6. I can't even believe someone has the nerve to stay in someone else's house that long and behave that way.

  7. oh dear! manners are such a beautiful thing because they make everyone feel at home and comfortable...they are an asset wherever a person goes...

  8. Manners and courtesy are becoming lost arts, it seems. Kindness makes life so much better. Thanks for your sweet comment at my blog!