Saturday, April 13, 2013

Grief and Loss

How can we possibly know the depth of grief a mother feels when she looses her one and only son?  My friend and distant cousin, Tupou lost her only child Sione to a shooting early this morning at a Maverick.  At first I didn't want to hear the news when my son told me.  Because with one so alive, handsome and so full of life, all at once killed before he's suppose to leave this life.  I can imagine the grief and sorrow she must be going through.  But to truly understand the pain, I don't think I can even comprehend a fraction of it. 

This picture is of Tupou and Sione with our customary ta'ovala around his waist.  He was her pride and joy.   The apple of her eye.  Just a day ago I saw on Facebook that she was preparing for Sione's wedding.  I was surprised so I inquired to make sure he's getting married.  Just a few years back he accompanied my daughter Sisilia when she sings for my oldest son's wedding.  My son's name is Sione too but I call him by his middle name Leveni.

Sione is an affluent piano player.  Started at a very young age with the best teacher money can buy.  He played at church functions, educational functions and everyone was impressed by his ability to play the piano.  He also was a member of a Polynesian dance group.  He was as talented as he was good looking.

Death comes to us all of course.  But "when" death comes, is the big question.  I grieve with my friend Tupou.  She may not know it, but she's not grieving alone this day.  So many of us loved Sione and the cold sorrow of his death chills us all.  We all experience deep sorrow and sadness when we loose loved ones.  We mourn together with everyone that has ever experience such loss.

"My grief lies all within, And these external manners of lament.  Are merely shadows to the unseen grief.  That swells with silence in the tortured soul."       Shakespeare



  1. Dear Lord, please have this family in your hands as they grieve the loss of this wonderful young man. I'm so sorry, Sela. :(

    1. Thank you for your prayers Mimi. It is much needed during this trying time for this family. May they find peace in this hurricane of death.

  2. Replies
    1. Thank you for your sweet words Danica. Pray everything is well with you.

  3. Your friend is fortunate to have you by her side. Please do not expect that she will ever "get over it" or "move on". As a bereaved mother, I can tell you that the pain is constant and intense. My son was 23 when he was killed 11 months ago.

    Please share my site with your friend.
    It consists of blogs, articles, videos and other resources for bereaved parents and siblings.