Saturday, August 10, 2013

Missing Her

I missed my mother last night.  More so then others because watching my father get ready by himself to go to a ward's program, I can picture her fussing over him.  Now my aunt/adopted mom Peta fusses over him.  I helped him comb his hair, all white and not a single trace of dark hair.  His skin so dark in contrast now by the tremendous amount of time he spends outdoors.  Always working, never resting.   It's all new to me seeing how anxious and excited he was to get to the program.  Single, old and still going on without my mother.  I wondered if at times like these, he misses her too.

As I dropped him off at church and drove off.  I couldn't help but get teary eyed.  Her image fills my mind of her all decked out with her glossy hair, bright twinkling eyes and always so classy with her clothes.  So beautiful and she smells so sweet.  Unlike my dark skin, hers was always so white, smooth and soft.  I cried.  I miss her so much.  I wondered if my children will ever miss me like how I miss her when I die. 

The other day my sister told me she saw her again.  She's always seeing our mother.  She said that mom is so very busy doing Secretarial work on the other side.  I believe it.  My sister always sees dead people.  Unless something was about to happen then I see them.  Other than that, I listen to her stories because they visit her in her dreams.

I know that  life doesn't end in this life.  That our spirit continues on with the great plan of Salvation Heavenly Father has prepared for all of us.  I know that now is the time to prepare because death is only a stepping stone towards a much higher life.  I also know that I will see my mother again but I miss her so, so very much during this time of mortality.  That I could hug and hold her one more time and kiss her cheeks.  Tell her that I love her.  I whisper it to the winds for I know they can hear, see and watch over us.

Life is precious.  The bodies that shelter our spirit are so amazing and wondrous.  The way they function and work.   Each organ, each cell right down to the nucleus of our physical being are all beyond my imagination.  Only a God can come up with that.  So again and again, I see clearer then ever before, how precious our lives are in this beautiful world.  To live and to make each second, each moment counts by hugging, loving and serving others so they can feel our love.  Like the love I still feel for my mother and the love I feel she has for me.  Blowing kisses to the wind.  I love you mommy.