Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Dear John

During Family Home Evening last night, I spied my two younger daughters Patiola and Mele whispering to each others.  I have a keen eye and ear for secret conversations and I didn't have to second guess because my first hunch is always right.  I just finished reading my missionary's email, when at the corner of my eye I noticed that Pati was showing her sister Mele her email on the phone.  Then I hear this:  "She doesn't know what she's missing out on."  Voices of disappointment and referring to a third person "she".  I didn't need to think to deeply to know they were talking about my son's girlfriend.

After FHE, I got the phone and sure enough her email was still open so I searched and saw his email to his sister.  She wants to be free of him and my heart just broke for him.  He may be engaged in the Lord's work but this had to hurt.  They had a plan and as young as they were, my son was set in his heart for her.  As for Ali, I was once in her shoes and with such a young heart, love fails to permeate through the mist of deep infatuation.  Out of sight and out of mind slowly creeps in and eventually you begin to see it wasn't love after all.  Or may it was love but can not with-stand absence and long-distance.  So I finally understand why she doesn't come around anymore, doesn't reply to our messages as if she just sadly disappears into thin air and that her presence in all our lives was but a sweet dream.  We all loved Ali so much.  She was as kind, sweet and gently as they come.  I know my son feels the sting of her rejection and so I wrote him an email:  

Son... I want to make sure that I am clear on what I'm saying to you Eld. Toki. What part of "I want to be free", coming form Ali don't you understand? Didn't I tell you before you left on your mission that you needed to end all ties with her. You both are so young and have plenty of time ahead so now we've come to this. Concentrate on your mission and let Ali know you understand and let it go. There is no room for this on your mission. People change. You've changed. Nothing stays the same. Trust in the Lord and move forward in the work Eld. Toki. Loose yourself in His service and your blessings will come back 100 times more. No one knows what the future will bring but put God first and the rest will follow. 

We love you Eld. Toki. Forgive me if I sound harsh, but I don't want you to slack off just because you're depressed about Ali. Lay it all behind you and you will see. The Lord will bless you. 

Much love,

Reading his email, I think he was in denial that he is actually getting a "DEAR JOHN" letter from his girlfriend just like so many other missionaries before him and will after him.  It happens.  He just didn't think it would happen to him and I didn't think it will too.  None of us saw this coming because we all thought the feeling were mutual between them and that she would wait for him.  Life happens but I know my son is strong.  Forward and Onward is what I pray he'll do.  It's just a darn shame that she won't be in our lives because Ali is one of a kind and such a beautiful soul.  

I told gma Peta last night not to text her anymore.  She always text Ali and bid her goodnight or let her know how much we miss and love her.  She's also sad but it's a bitter sweet experience for all of us.  We can not predict what the future brings but at the rate Eld. Toki is going, nothing but good and success awaits him.  I love my son. 

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