Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Forgotten Mother

I have an older friend that lives by herself in one of the condominiums down the street.  Sweet lady and yesterday she had asked me to come over for an afternoon chat for she was feeling a little lonely.  After saying good-bye to my grandchildren, I headed out to see her.  I'll just refer to her as "P".  We started talking about different things and naturally, our conversation took a turn to her family.  I asked her how many children she has and she said 3.  Reluctantly she admits that she hardly sees them.  For years now she hasn't even seen her oldest son Jason.  He lives up in the Day Break area.  Her daughter lives in West Jordan and another daughter in Hurricane Utah.  The daughter from West Jordan visits may be once every quarter and it's been years since she last seen her Jason.  Tears threaten her eyes and her voice a little shaky as she speaks of them.  I can see that she'd prefer to see them more often.

"P" was married in the temple and after 3 children, she left her husband and took off with another man.  She stated that the day she divorced her first husband, her son Jason decided to divorce her.  For years she became inactive in the church and an Alcoholic.  Married the second husband for about 13 years and he left her for another woman.  Now she lives alone, a recovering alcoholic and back in the church.  The ward members have been so wonderful to her.  Patient in working with her and joy is beyond measure now that she's back.  Her only dread now is her son Jason.  He had been a member of the Bishopric.  A member of the Stake Presidency and yet, hardly does he acknowledge his mother.  That she is still alive and getting old and that perhaps he can forgive her for what she did.

So many things boggled my mind.  She asked the question:  "Whatever happens to Honoring Thy Mother and Father".  I'm wondering, shouldn't Jason, by being this Spiritual leader, shouldn't he realize that it is a commandment to Honor Thy Father and Mother without any conditions.  Our Tongan culture does not allow us to abandon our elderly in a Rest Home or anyone else's home.  We take care of our own.  I'm reminded of something that Les Brown the motivational speaker said:  "Our mother took care of 10 children and she was only one.  Why can't 10 children take care of one mother..."  Something like that.  It is beyond me.

"P" is surrounded by so many good and loving people in the ward.  She's blessed to have a second chance.  Some people are not so blessed and at that age, pass on with no opportunity to redeem themselves.  That is sad.  Jason as "P" puts it, drives around his Jaguar and lives in what's known in Daybreak, "Campbell Palace".  Apparently, Jason is wealthy.  Not only in material things but also in Spiritual things.  The only thing that's lacking is that, he seems to have forgotten he still has a mother and she's still alive!

My younger brothers have had fall outs with our father.  Our father lives with my sister in Magna.  I make sure I do a weekly visit or more to see him and if he needs anything.  Sadly, my brothers have been indifferent and negligence towards my father which I find very very sad. I think I may have mentioned it before, a couple years ago.  One day I know they will regret not treating my father better then the way they are doing now.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

He's Got the Whole World In His Hands

The older I get, the clearer I see God's hand in everything under the sun.  People make choices and have no idea how shattering the consequences will be and God does His best to intervene without interfering with our Free Agency to choose.  He knows us and He knows that without His intervention, we'd all end up where we don't want to be.  So He created the plan of Happiness having His son make the Ultimate Sacrifice so we, His children, can know and feel His unending and unconditional love for us.  His son Jesus Christ ransomed us with His blood so when we repent, our sins can all be forgiven.

My heart can not fathom the endless mercy and grace that a loving Heavenly Father has for all His children.   In everything that we do, He's always there trying His best to salvage us from the mess that we make in all our lives.  These past few weeks my family struggled aimlessly and hopelessly for some kind of relief from the chaos that perhaps, many family goes through, yet to us was all new as we panicked and did some things that really didn't help improve our predicament.  But ever so slowly as things began to unfold and when every solution seemed to have been exhausted, I begin to see that the Mighty hands of the Lord had always been there right from the very beginning. Watching, caring, prompting and desperately trying to assist us in the depth of our hopelessness.   

To-day, on my way to work, as I sat alone in the near empty hall of the Front-runner, I was enfolded in the warmth of Heavenly Father's loving arms.  I felt it as surely as I can feel the warmth of the sun on my face. Assuring me, that when I put my faith and hope in Him and put Him first,  when I try to Keep all His commandments, everything will work out.   Things happened so unexpectedly in our favor.  What we thought was eventually not a good disposition turned out to be a way out.  People we thought would cause us distress, turned out to be a blessing to us.  It's as if a web have been weaved and padded to cushion our family when we fall.  Almost like trying to sew our family quilt together to a certain pattern and some pieces are either missing or sewn together wrong.  Therefore, there's a need to be taken apart to be resewn together correctly.  This "taken apart" can come in the form of failure, heartache, pain, disappointment, betrayal and confusion.  It hurts like hell and no one is immune and we can not do it on our own at any time.  Only with God and Christ are we able to conquer all our foes, afflictions and weaknesses.

In small things and in big things, from the beginning and until the end, God has always been there and will always be there for us.  Like some of the lyrics to an old favorite song:  "In His Hands, He's Got the Whole World...He's got the Whole Wide World in His Hands."  Just about two weeks ago our Bev and her cousin Ange went on a Friday night and didn't return home until morning.  We were up the whole night worrying.  Sione was at the hospital while I was trying to make sure things run smoothly in our home.  Everything fell apart this night.  We needed to send Bev away and my heart broke into million pieces because I know how much I'm going to miss her.  I don't know if she was going to miss home, but, I already felt how much I was going to miss her and I do so as I'm writing right now.  The fact that Sisilia and Misi were up in Provo was just what we needed to get Bev away from here and this environment.  She may not realize it, but it was necessary for us to do this.  I know she was hurting and probably thinking that we are sending her away because we don't love her.  It was tearing me apart.  The night she left I was up all night crying.  She came home for Father's Day and that night was a total disaster.  At the end of the night as they were about to depart to Provo, she got her father (as he was discharged that Saturday before Father's Day), and I together in a hug.  Words can not describe the love I have for this girl.  My Beverly Shania.  She told us she loved us and they left.

My new job takes me to Provo.  I can visit Bev whenever I want.  Her sister and Misi said she's doing great out there.  When I paid them a visit last week, she actually told me she likes it there.  She has an incredible support team from her Bishop, her youth leaders and Silly and Misi.  It's going to be a long road for all of us but with God's help, everything will fall into place.  I love my Bevvy girl and I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who loves me perfectly even with all my imperfections.  As always, with God, nothing is impossible.  The love of a mother for her children is like nothing in this world.