Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Senior Prom: We're NEVER going to wear dresses like these AGAIN!

Senior Prom was this past Saturday.  There was a lot of discussion over my two girls Prom dresses.  I allowed them to both pick their own dresses hoping they would pick to be modest and a little reserved.  Lord knows we've taught them modesty their whole life. Well, once the amazon box was delivered at the door and I looked into my Mele Vasiti's phone, I knew she had order the one dress I didn't want her to order.  I was so disappointed but I held my tongue and allow them to wear what they chose.

Then there was 16 year old Beverly, who is as stubborn as a bed's spring board.  She chose a skin tight body suit  like dress with spaghetti straps.  I was going to get both of them some kind of shawl or something but we just didn't have the budget for it. So, we ended up with them going as they are, skin and all.  My eldest daughter remarked: "This is double standard mom.  How could you let them walk out of the house looking like this?" I thought to myself, boy will I be judged by a lot of people because it is indeed double standard.  That I teach modesty in dress and yet, allows my girls to dress so immodest.  I remembered when my eldest went to her own Senior Prom. Her dress was modest and she had a little jacket to cover her strapless gown but I got the shock of my life when I saw her remove her jacket and took her Sr. Prom picture baring her chest!  I was furious.  So through the years, I loosen the rope I have around my children and give them room , especially the younger girls, to choose.

They admitted to having so much fun at the dance but they also came in and admitted to me that same night, that they'll "never were dresses like these again!"  My heart sang hearing their admissions.  They said they were uncomfortable and self conscious through out the whole dance and they admitted that their dresses were immodest and  inappropriate.  Both of their boyfriends did not agree with their dresses too and when their brother Mahonrai saw their dresses he exlaimed: "Why show so much skin!"  Don't you guys know that "Modest girls are the Hottest".  LOL.

Being a mother brings me so much joy.  My children are my world and they complete me. It's not easy being a mom especially when face with decisions and choices your children make.  It's as if every choice they make defines the type of mother I am. There's a lot of self blame and finger pointing at myself.  But, I also have to realize that I can teach my children all the things that I need to teach them, yet, they are the ones that will have the final saying in the choices that they make.  They can either choose to obey or disobey.

This was Mele's last High School dance.  Bev will have 2 more years and I already know she will make good choices when it comes to Prom Dresses.  These two are a handful. I love them so much.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Life goes on

Can't believe it's Easter already.  Pretty soon April will be done with and then going into May.  March and April has been such busy months for my family.  3 family members left the home.  Hubby to Tonga.  Pati on a mission and Mahonrai to AZ for school.  I miss my family and can't get over how quickly time has gone by.  Yesterday they were all under one roof.  To-day, they are all over the place.  I love my family and words just can't express how much.  I just hope they know how much they mean to me.

April have 3 birth dates.  Mahonrai turns 21, Beverly turned 16 and Leli turned 28.  What a life this is.  Feels like a movie and there's no turning back.  I'm in awe with the mystery of time.  How fast it comes and where it goes.  I guess the only sure moment is the "present".  This is where we actually breath and live.  This "now".  This "moment".  My children were just babies a few years ago.  Now they're all grown up and leaving home.  I long for them and yet I'm consoled with the thought that I did the same things too when I was a young woman.  Left home and start my own path.  I only pray that where ever this life takes them, that they will find joy in the journey and happiness in their own homes.  

This world is swiftly reeling by.  Time is precious and priceless.  Need to always make it count.  Every moment, every second and every hour is a gift.  My two youngest girls are relentless and head strong when it comes to dating.  I guess I shouldn't complain too much about them because I was the same way when I was their age.  The only exception is, I had my head on straight when I dated.  These two seems to go all out.  Got me to drive to Idaho and back in one night.  Got me to be a push-over when it comes to phone time. 

This Easter Day, my cup runneth over with love.  Love of God and Christ as they are the reason why we're all here in this amazing life.  Grateful for the gift of Atonement and the Resurrection.  That we don't have to die in our sins if we repent and that we are all going to live again after Death.  Death is but a path we all have to go through to get to the real thing.  Eternal Life.  That's where all our happy ever afters will be.  Life goes on after death.  What a miracle and a blessing.  

Saturday, February 18, 2017

From the mouth of Babes

You never win when you argue with a toddler.   My 3 year old granddaughter is always up to mischief and you'd think after having 7 children, I'd developed the patience of Job.  I thought I had but now I realize I haven't.  There's a need to though because my granddaughter said to me, while in the heat of arguing back and forth over what we each need to do that,  "You need to be patient.  You need to be patient grandma".  I couldn't believe my ears.  What does a 3 year old know about "being patient" anyway?  I was speechless and my mind was reeling.  I need to change!

Selamafi is 3 going on 30.  She's a burst of energy and as strong as an ox just like her father when he was her age.  Our house comes alive when the two of them are over.  Selamafi and Pitisi.  I'm at awe with the amount of energy they have and it's exhausting just watching the two of them.  They are here and there and everywhere.  Little feet running non stop and little voices squealing with joy as they brighten our home with laughter and life.   Whenever it's quiet and still, I know they are up to something.

That "something" ranges from all of these:
     * wetting the toilet paper in the bathroom sink
     * pouring any lotion they find all over their body
     * smearing food all over the table
     * tearing up important papers into pits and pieces
     * spilling left over peanuts out of the can and spreading it all over the rug
     * throwing all the pillows for my couches on the floor and jumping on it 
The list goes on...

An inevitable conclusion is drawn and that is, I need to be fit to keep up with these two gals.  As I mentioned in my earlier post, I haven't even started my "new year" resolution and it's almost the end of February.  Now, I find that I can't keep putting it off.  My granddaughters need to me to be at my best energy and I need to take care of myself.  Not only physically, but mentally and spiritually.
"You need to be patient", says a lot of things about me and who I have become.  As much as I love life, if I don't take care of myself, I wouldn't be living life to the fullest as we're suppose to.

Being a grandmother is so wonderful.  I love being a mother but I have more fun being a grandmother.  Perhaps it's because I don't have them 24/7.  LOL.  To be honest I'm exhausted when they're over but when they leave, I miss their little faces and the sound of their sweet voices.  The Sunday before this past Sunday, the ever so onary Pitisi had to take my face in her two little soft and gentle hands and shake it.  She was a bit frustrated that I didn't understand what she was trying to say to me.  After a few attempts to tell me, "Mom, the dost."  I thought she said "those".  We were at their aunt Nini's farewell eating over at the other grandparents house and I was sitting by the sliding door with my back to it.  Tisi wa on my lap and she kept pointing to the outside, "The dost, the dost is going to eat me!"  Then she reaches with her little hands to the right side of her neck and open her little mouth to show me white little teeth as she imitates the act of biting.  Like someone is trying to bite her neck. I thought that was weird.  Then I figured it out.  She's actually saying, "ghost".

What the heck?  Who's been scaring this little girl.  I had to open the sliding door and walked with her outside to show her, there is no "ghost" and she doesn't need to be scared.  "See, there's no ghost". She said, "yes, it's over dere"  pointing to the other side of the yard.  "No" I said, :there's nothing there".  Then she points to the other side of the yard where there were logs lying on the ground, "there, the dost is there!"  I took her and showed her, they were only logs and not ghosts.  She seemed to be satisfied so we return to the house.  It was just so funny that she had to emphasize her "dost" by shaking my face with her little hands and acting out the biting with her mouth.

There's so many things I want my grandchildren to be.  I just want the best for them.  The most important of all is that I want them to know that God lives and that He watches over them.  That they are never alone in this world no matter where they are or whatever situation they are in.  That with God, nothing is impossible.  I learn so much about myself by being a grandmother and I have been reminded by my beloved Selamafi that I need to "patient".  I'll never forget it.

Sunday, January 15, 2017

What Have You Done for Me?

Sundays are the only days I can make time to sit back and take a survey of what happened the week that just passed and what needs to be done in the week to come.  Last night we sang happy birthday to my dad.  He turned 77 years old  I count my blessings that he is still alive because I need to pay back some of those debts that I owe him.  I know they can never be repaid but I want to do something to make him proud of me.  Something outstanding.

Last night as we were returning from the birthday party, my husband told me of an incident that happened at my sister's house.  My BIL came and stopped my nephew from getting drunk outside the house and my nephew was cussing him out and blurted out this question:  "What have you ever done for me?"  His dad replied:  "I've done everything for you".

"What have you done for me?"

The question sounds self-centered, self-absorbed and selfish.  But what can one expect from someone that can't hold down a job, blames his parents for everything that happens to him and still lives under their roof, eating there food and drinking their water.  If he doesn't see what his dad or his parents have done for him, then he truly is blind and has become an ingrate thinking he's entitled to things without working for them.

My husband would not stand for this.  He'd have body slammed this son to the floor and whipped his behind.  Disrespect and degradation does now flow in my husband's book.  To see my BIL hold his patient is quite inspiring.  21 years old and still living at home and not lift a hand to help in paying and bills.  That is outrageous.  There's no kind of reciprocate in giving and taking.  Just in taking.

When raising my children, I wanted them to be independent when the time comes.  To be productive citizen and faithful members of our church.  Education has always been so important but for some reason, it went over the heads of the first 3 oldest kids.  None of them continues school after High School.  The younger 4 though, they are excited to continue school after high school.  Mahonrai will be leaving to Mesa for MCC.  Mele Vasiti is undecided which school she'll be going to between Mesa with her brother or to Wyoming.  We'll see. Pati is awaiting her papers to go on her mission and then come and continue school.  As for Bev, she's only a Sophomore.  She's trying to get a scholarship so she doesn't have to pay for school.  Hopefully everyone will be happy with their choices.

I pray that my nephew will find a way to get a life.   Quit being a drunk and a drug addict.  It's sad to see my sister and BIL go through this with their son.  The question should be asked:  'What have you done for yourself?".

Saturday, January 14, 2017

When Words Wound

Last night I was talking with my Papi, she relayed to me something things that was said to her about our family by a family member.  I've often pride myself in being thick skinned to rumours and gossips but truth be told, as harmless as words are, they felt like a dagger to my heart.  Not only it was said by someone that I love very much, but it was said with such malice and insensitivity that it wounded me to anger and a crave to defend my family.  I wanted to lash out and throw words back that hurts like it hurt me but I already know that doing so, will not make any difference and it would only hurt me more then the person who's spreading those rumours.

Anger is a dangerous state to be in.  You tend to say things you don't really mean and it can damage a great relationship in a heat of the moment.  I tried to calm myself down and look pass this because it definitely not worth my time and the good name of my family.  I looked at my daughter last night and wished she didn't tell me these thing.  Woke up this morning feeling all better.  "This too shall pass" as I have learned to oversee everything negative that has been said or done to me and my family.  Even things that comes from my own children as we go through this journey of life.  I wish we were perfectly peaceful but that is too much to ask because my family is rowdy and harsh most times,

So I learn to press on, looking forward and learning to dodge those debris of malice and cruelty.  I hope my children can learn to dodge them too.  Not to let the petty words of people and other family members sit and fester.  Let it go because the bonds between people and family are priceless and above any disagreements or gossips.  I found out last that I am not immune to words that wound.  That I am not so tough after all because for a few minutes there I was so hurt, disgusted, upset and angry.  It still hurts a little bit while I'm writing right now, but it gradually disintegrates with every word that's being jot down.  That is why writing is so therapeutic to me.  Every time I write, it slowly relaxes me and I see things more clearly.

When words wound it hurts so bad.  Almost like a physical wound but more to the heart, mind and soul.  What's been said ends here and never to be repeated.  All I know about life is that "what goes up will come down and what goes around will always come around."  I'm glad my Papi girl is learning to let things go too.  I'm really proud of her and how she always so quick to forgive. I've learned that as much as words can wound us deeply, we can allow ourselves to sulk and be miserable for a minute and then gather our senses together to forgive and move on.  Do not let it fester and get ugly.  It's not worth it.  

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

2017 It's going to be a good year!

Welcome 2017 and Happy New Year one and all.  We just got back for Northern California as the children were invited to sing in a Musical Fireside.  It's funny because just recently I was thinking about how badly we needed a family vacation with the children.  Because God is always good, He answered my prayers all the time.  Everything was paid for and provided for the children to sing and for us to have a great time while doing it.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  It's always through amazing people that God fulfills His promises and His will.
The children really enjoyed themselves.  Sisilia, on the other hand, never ever wants to sing at any given time.  Even with the magnificent voice that she has, she refuses to sing.  I think it's because she has sing-phobia.  She's nervous performing infront of people but you can never tell that when she performs because she is so comfortable infront of a crowd she blows them away every time she sings.  Before we even load up our vehicle to leave to Cali, she send a text message saying, "I'm going but I'm not going to sing".  Me and my husband looked at each others and both roll our eyes.  We already know she will eventually sing when we get there because she can not say "no" to people when they ask her to sing.  Sure enough, when we got to our hotel rooms, no one asked her to sing.  She witnessed what her uncle Tevisi has gone through to rent the vehicle, set up 3 hotel rooms for 3 nights, money and food and her little heart softened and she text back:
"Mom, did you bring any of my music?" 
 I text back, already humming with satisfaction:  "What for?  I thought you said you're not singing."  
She text back:  "Oh, I want to sing for uncle Tevisi."  
"Oh yeah, then may be you could sing Karaoke". 
"No mom, I want you to play".  
Yup that's a typical conversation when she changes her mind from "not singing", to "singing".   She's so feisty and finicky.  Always changing her mind but I love my Silly girl for that.
We had so much fun.  Our Livai family Siua and Irene took us out on Saturday and tour the city of San Francisco.  It's so beautiful and exciting.  So different from Salt Lake City Utah.  They kids really enjoyed themselves.  Not only did they treat us to eat, they even allowed us to pick a Souvenir and bought it and send us home with it.  So sweet as they give selflessly.  Irene keeps talking about Jesus and God.  How good they are and I think that is why they are so giving is because they truly are following the Savior's example.  We are always the recipients and never the giver.  One day I would like to be the giver.  Hoi.
We got back yesterday after spending a day and a  half on the road because the mountains were snowed in and we had to put on chains on our tires.  It was the longest drive ever but we made it back in one piece.  After off-loading our stuff, the children starts leaving to their own home and I miss them all over again.  I hate when they leave. Our house is so empty without them.  I love my family.