Sunday, January 15, 2017

What Have You Done for Me?

Sundays are the only days I can make time to sit back and take a survey of what happened the week that just passed and what needs to be done in the week to come.  Last night we sang happy birthday to my dad.  He turned 77 years old  I count my blessings that he is still alive because I need to pay back some of those debts that I owe him.  I know they can never be repaid but I want to do something to make him proud of me.  Something outstanding.

Last night as we were returning from the birthday party, my husband told me of an incident that happened at my sister's house.  My BIL came and stopped my nephew from getting drunk outside the house and my nephew was cussing him out and blurted out this question:  "What have you ever done for me?"  His dad replied:  "I've done everything for you".

"What have you done for me?"

The question sounds self-centered, self-absorbed and selfish.  But what can one expect from someone that can't hold down a job, blames his parents for everything that happens to him and still lives under their roof, eating there food and drinking their water.  If he doesn't see what his dad or his parents have done for him, then he truly is blind and has become an ingrate thinking he's entitled to things without working for them.

My husband would not stand for this.  He'd have body slammed this son to the floor and whipped his behind.  Disrespect and degradation does now flow in my husband's book.  To see my BIL hold his patient is quite inspiring.  21 years old and still living at home and not lift a hand to help in paying and bills.  That is outrageous.  There's no kind of reciprocate in giving and taking.  Just in taking.

When raising my children, I wanted them to be independent when the time comes.  To be productive citizen and faithful members of our church.  Education has always been so important but for some reason, it went over the heads of the first 3 oldest kids.  None of them continues school after High School.  The younger 4 though, they are excited to continue school after high school.  Mahonrai will be leaving to Mesa for MCC.  Mele Vasiti is undecided which school she'll be going to between Mesa with her brother or to Wyoming.  We'll see. Pati is awaiting her papers to go on her mission and then come and continue school.  As for Bev, she's only a Sophomore.  She's trying to get a scholarship so she doesn't have to pay for school.  Hopefully everyone will be happy with their choices.

I pray that my nephew will find a way to get a life.   Quit being a drunk and a drug addict.  It's sad to see my sister and BIL go through this with their son.  The question should be asked:  'What have you done for yourself?".

Saturday, January 14, 2017

When Words Wound

Last night I was talking with my Papi, she relayed to me something things that was said to her about our family by a family member.  I've often pride myself in being thick skinned to rumours and gossips but truth be told, as harmless as words are, they felt like a dagger to my heart.  Not only it was said by someone that I love very much, but it was said with such malice and insensitivity that it wounded me to anger and a crave to defend my family.  I wanted to lash out and throw words back that hurts like it hurt me but I already know that doing so, will not make any difference and it would only hurt me more then the person who's spreading those rumours.

Anger is a dangerous state to be in.  You tend to say things you don't really mean and it can damage a great relationship in a heat of the moment.  I tried to calm myself down and look pass this because it definitely not worth my time and the good name of my family.  I looked at my daughter last night and wished she didn't tell me these thing.  Woke up this morning feeling all better.  "This too shall pass" as I have learned to oversee everything negative that has been said or done to me and my family.  Even things that comes from my own children as we go through this journey of life.  I wish we were perfectly peaceful but that is too much to ask because my family is rowdy and harsh most times,

So I learn to press on, looking forward and learning to dodge those debris of malice and cruelty.  I hope my children can learn to dodge them too.  Not to let the petty words of people and other family members sit and fester.  Let it go because the bonds between people and family are priceless and above any disagreements or gossips.  I found out last that I am not immune to words that wound.  That I am not so tough after all because for a few minutes there I was so hurt, disgusted, upset and angry.  It still hurts a little bit while I'm writing right now, but it gradually disintegrates with every word that's being jot down.  That is why writing is so therapeutic to me.  Every time I write, it slowly relaxes me and I see things more clearly.

When words wound it hurts so bad.  Almost like a physical wound but more to the heart, mind and soul.  What's been said ends here and never to be repeated.  All I know about life is that "what goes up will come down and what goes around will always come around."  I'm glad my Papi girl is learning to let things go too.  I'm really proud of her and how she always so quick to forgive. I've learned that as much as words can wound us deeply, we can allow ourselves to sulk and be miserable for a minute and then gather our senses together to forgive and move on.  Do not let it fester and get ugly.  It's not worth it.  

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

2017 It's going to be a good year!

Welcome 2017 and Happy New Year one and all.  We just got back for Northern California as the children were invited to sing in a Musical Fireside.  It's funny because just recently I was thinking about how badly we needed a family vacation with the children.  Because God is always good, He answered my prayers all the time.  Everything was paid for and provided for the children to sing and for us to have a great time while doing it.  I couldn't ask for anything more.  It's always through amazing people that God fulfills His promises and His will.
The children really enjoyed themselves.  Sisilia, on the other hand, never ever wants to sing at any given time.  Even with the magnificent voice that she has, she refuses to sing.  I think it's because she has sing-phobia.  She's nervous performing infront of people but you can never tell that when she performs because she is so comfortable infront of a crowd she blows them away every time she sings.  Before we even load up our vehicle to leave to Cali, she send a text message saying, "I'm going but I'm not going to sing".  Me and my husband looked at each others and both roll our eyes.  We already know she will eventually sing when we get there because she can not say "no" to people when they ask her to sing.  Sure enough, when we got to our hotel rooms, no one asked her to sing.  She witnessed what her uncle Tevisi has gone through to rent the vehicle, set up 3 hotel rooms for 3 nights, money and food and her little heart softened and she text back:
"Mom, did you bring any of my music?" 
 I text back, already humming with satisfaction:  "What for?  I thought you said you're not singing."  
She text back:  "Oh, I want to sing for uncle Tevisi."  
"Oh yeah, then may be you could sing Karaoke". 
"No mom, I want you to play".  
Yup that's a typical conversation when she changes her mind from "not singing", to "singing".   She's so feisty and finicky.  Always changing her mind but I love my Silly girl for that.
We had so much fun.  Our Livai family Siua and Irene took us out on Saturday and tour the city of San Francisco.  It's so beautiful and exciting.  So different from Salt Lake City Utah.  They kids really enjoyed themselves.  Not only did they treat us to eat, they even allowed us to pick a Souvenir and bought it and send us home with it.  So sweet as they give selflessly.  Irene keeps talking about Jesus and God.  How good they are and I think that is why they are so giving is because they truly are following the Savior's example.  We are always the recipients and never the giver.  One day I would like to be the giver.  Hoi.
We got back yesterday after spending a day and a  half on the road because the mountains were snowed in and we had to put on chains on our tires.  It was the longest drive ever but we made it back in one piece.  After off-loading our stuff, the children starts leaving to their own home and I miss them all over again.  I hate when they leave. Our house is so empty without them.  I love my family.