Saturday, January 14, 2017

When Words Wound

Last night I was talking with my Papi, she relayed to me something things that was said to her about our family by a family member.  I've often pride myself in being thick skinned to rumours and gossips but truth be told, as harmless as words are, they felt like a dagger to my heart.  Not only it was said by someone that I love very much, but it was said with such malice and insensitivity that it wounded me to anger and a crave to defend my family.  I wanted to lash out and throw words back that hurts like it hurt me but I already know that doing so, will not make any difference and it would only hurt me more then the person who's spreading those rumours.

Anger is a dangerous state to be in.  You tend to say things you don't really mean and it can damage a great relationship in a heat of the moment.  I tried to calm myself down and look pass this because it definitely not worth my time and the good name of my family.  I looked at my daughter last night and wished she didn't tell me these thing.  Woke up this morning feeling all better.  "This too shall pass" as I have learned to oversee everything negative that has been said or done to me and my family.  Even things that comes from my own children as we go through this journey of life.  I wish we were perfectly peaceful but that is too much to ask because my family is rowdy and harsh most times,

So I learn to press on, looking forward and learning to dodge those debris of malice and cruelty.  I hope my children can learn to dodge them too.  Not to let the petty words of people and other family members sit and fester.  Let it go because the bonds between people and family are priceless and above any disagreements or gossips.  I found out last that I am not immune to words that wound.  That I am not so tough after all because for a few minutes there I was so hurt, disgusted, upset and angry.  It still hurts a little bit while I'm writing right now, but it gradually disintegrates with every word that's being jot down.  That is why writing is so therapeutic to me.  Every time I write, it slowly relaxes me and I see things more clearly.

When words wound it hurts so bad.  Almost like a physical wound but more to the heart, mind and soul.  What's been said ends here and never to be repeated.  All I know about life is that "what goes up will come down and what goes around will always come around."  I'm glad my Papi girl is learning to let things go too.  I'm really proud of her and how she always so quick to forgive. I've learned that as much as words can wound us deeply, we can allow ourselves to sulk and be miserable for a minute and then gather our senses together to forgive and move on.  Do not let it fester and get ugly.  It's not worth it.  

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